Shall I pull the crimson chord of tired night
Or draw upon the withered scrim below
To break my yearning heart from wakened plight
In seeking solace, swept of coward’s throw.
And will the wisp of darkened dream unfold
Gold cloth of comfort, warm with winter still
I lie without your pretty hand to hold,
Prolonging dreams your hollow heart should fill.
Beyond my breath, the shadow night does blow
Your perfect scent and whisper words adrift.
As snowdrops yearn for sunlight over snow
My love lies longing, begging greater gift.
As unrequited love craves night and day
So sleep can never cut these knives away.
Author notes
Option 8 in contest: Make Me See Again.
This is my first attempt at a sonnet. It is written in the English form and in iambic pentameter (I hope!). I would appreciate any thoughts & critique.
A contest entry
- Dream Walking, Pillow Talking by PureCountry.
875 points, ended March 1, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me See Again by crystallynnbradford.
315 points, ended March 18, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Enchanted Misery Contest by Ms Raneika.
1200 points, ended March 20, 2008, 75 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Worthy of Gold by Virgoan.
900 points, ended April 17, 2008, 73 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want...Show me Your Best Poems..I need inspiration..PW's Welcome! by Hetha.
2100 points, ended August 20, 2008, 160 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme and Flow part 9 Feelings - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended September 7, 2008, 50 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Sue! by Jade Jefferies.
1450 points, ended August 23, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unexpressed Love by Mistress Leala.
1200 points, ended June 3, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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what an extremely touching and mesmerizing piece. I absolutely love sonnets. well penned. thanks for entering and good luck.
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What a brilliant sonnet here Kezz! Nice to read the works by you. Keep it up my friend!!
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Thank you for this lovely sonnet in Jade's contest to cheer me up. This was a joy to read and certainly cheered me up.
Thanks to Jade for running the contest to cheer me up.
Love
Sue
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I am not expert on the sonnett, but I know what I like. This is full of yearning, I read it twice out loud and the form and flow are so nice to the ear,
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This is highly impressive I must say! It's too late for me to say anything else, it's almost midnight and I'll turn into mud.
Peace Georgia
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Space Craving - Sonnet Attack!
Thanks for commenting and I hope you avoided any mud during the night! I was amazed to see that you've written about 1 million poems, 6 billion comments and are a Hawkwind head - yet you go to bed before midnight! Don't seem right to me! Anyway, what other music you into?
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This is excellent, especially in terms of apostrophes, which are my big favourite. I was thinking of dedicating my next poem 2 U.
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while reading this piece i initially felt this is a sonnet and counted the lines and saw your notes. indeed a sonnet
i like how you manifested your thoughts. very well done.
thanks for sharing and keep writing.
HENSLEY
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I Thank you for entering my contest. I enjoy reading your well written piece your character and poem was quite interesting. Much love Ranekia
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this is beautiful.....the flow, the rhythm, the emotion....this is truly a beautifully penned piece of literary artwork.....a poetic masterpiece....
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One of the best first-time sonnets I've ever read. Good job.
Thanks for entering!
-Sonya -
Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck, Josie
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This was a great poem but not really what I am looking for. So while I am going to DQ it, please take no offense as it is a great sonnet I do thank you for entering and hope there are no hard feelings!
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While I Do Not
write with the sonnet form, I know good poetry when I see it. You have penned your thoughts with a master's touch, anyone would be honored to read.
Thank you for sharing this offering, Good Luck in the contest.
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Wow. A regular Shakespeare we have here.
Very nice. Keep writing. Can't wait to see what else you come up with. -
Lovely.
I just happen to stumble upon this piece and I must say this was an impeccable sonnet for someone who's just started to explore this style. The rhythm was spot on and your words just radiated their essence. This piece was simply lovely. -
look like we have another sonnetieir on our hands here! and i have some competition for mine!
lol, just kidding
great sonnet, keep on sonnetizing!
hint, hint, try your hand at a shakespearean... same syllable and rhyme scheme, just all in a block, where the stanzas are understood, just not seen...
mike, aka jonathan wikkins -
If truly this is sonnet number one
Then I should say you ought to keep it up
If you can write on as you have begun
I know that you will win a shiny cup
This sonnet flows like cream upon a spoon
Your rhyme is accurate and doesn't grate
You really should be way over the moon
Feeling that you've started something great
I'll be back to read some more of you
I hope you keep me reading with a grin
On AP there's a lot that you can do
And lots of contests you will surely win
So congrats on writing sonnet number one
Keep them coming Sonnets are such fun
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Jeff,
that truly is one heck of a comment! I'm speechless! Thanks! WOWWWW!!!!!! and WHOAAAA!!!!! -
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If I like what I read I comment in verse.
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