Long lashes curl toward Heaven,
across glossy orbs
the world passes,
is captured,
processed:
the tides,
the rising,
the setting,
moons, stars, orb of fire,
eclipses,
comets,
war and peace,
birth and death,
the mysterious,
the unknown,
truths ever changing,
maturing,
coalescing in cadence
with the aging beats
of the lids
snapping pictures
of time leaving,
arriving,
slowing,
ticking away,
from cradle to grave
in the eye
of the beholder.
Author notes
Option 4: the eyes are the windows to the ???
A contest entry
- Time & Time Again by Never Fall in Love.
850 points, ended February 25, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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of the lids
snapping pictures
of time leaving,
arriving,
slowing,
ticking away,
from cradle to grave
That part there was excellent. However, I felt that in the lines above it - the poem was very much listy.. Perhaps that is going to be fixed...I'll keep this on watch.
Good Luck in the contest
Never ♥ -
Awesome artistic work with this one! Your ending was what really grabbed my attention. I admire your style in this latest poem! THANKS MY HAWAIIAN FRIEND!!
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this summed it up perfectly:"with the aging beats
of the lids
snapping pictures
of time leaving,
arriving,
slowing,
ticking away,
from cradle to grave
in the eye
of the beholder." thanks for sharing regards zaj
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the language and rhythm of this piece is brilliant, best of luck in the contest.
Keira
MidnightRain -
Hmmmm.
{Listening to the music as I read, and so far the music is talking to me a little bit more}
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Vocalization
Maybe because in the music you can hear my voice??? Ha! Thanks for the "H" and all those cute little "m"'s....Aloha, friend!
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