For twenty years our apple tree has grown
And given fruit up to the very top,
Now year by year we have a finer crop,
Each apple with a style all of its own.
The pip that sired the tree was surely sown
In soil providing all that saplings need.
Ardent for the sun, it grew at speed.
At twenty years an adult fully grown.
The seed was laid in earth when Sam was born.
We tried to show him all that life could be,
He took what we could give and made it right.
Set out upon his path at early dawn,
Already striding far ahead of me,
To harvest such a crop before his night.
Author notes
Closer yet...
The son, and the tree, in question are 25 and still going strong. There are different fruit trees for each of our four.
In a list
A contest entry
- Sonnet ~ #50 Winklings Contest for friends and Allpoetry by Winklings.
3720 points, ended March 13, 13 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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a beautiful sonnet with an appealing metaphor, and a wonderful homage to the fruit of your tree, having become a tree, bearing fruit and planting new trees in the perpetual cycle of life ...
a pleasure to read,
maa
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Ahhh. Nice Italian Sonnet here. I love this form and you have handled the specifications quite well. I love the change up from the tree to humanity. Nicely handled in this piece.
Well done. Best of luck in the contest. ~Pamela
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applause
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I like how you move from the tree to its metaphor as your son. Your family tradition is inspiring, long may they all bear good fruits.
I enjoyed the sonnet form, well done.
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Simplicity the Secret!
This is a contemporary poem using a Petrarchan model very well. I enjoyed the entire poem although I felt the octet was stronger.
You certainly have met all specifications. All lines are decasyllabic. It is basically iambic in meter. However, on reading aloud, variations on your metrical base are good reminders of the fluidity with meter available to poets, especially in sonnets.
'Ardent for the sun, it grew at speed' is an excellent acephalous line.
"and GIVen FRUIT UP to the VERy TOP"
shows a decasyllabic line with an iambus, an iambus, a trochaic reversal, an iambus, an iambus.
Good work. "UP" is thus highlighted to show delight in the accomplishment of fruitfulness.
Thank you.
Lyndon of the Winklings.
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The CDECDE sestet is tough to make work, which is why I picked it really, but was probably not wise! Thank-you for a very thorough and thoughtful review, oh and for an HM which is quite something in this company!
As for "When read aloud" is there any other way to enjoy poetry?
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Oh. That was a nice little poem that you have going on here. I like story poems and this was a good one with the fruit trees. I think that was great idea with planting on different fruit tree for each person in the family. I would think it would give you a feeling of security and usefulness. You did a good job of expressing yourself here.
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A great metaphor. I really like your descriptions. The roots grow very deep. You can tell. Good job.
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i like this poem alot. especially the way how you portryed the apple tree and your son.
(now i've got a craving for apples .
. Rewarded 4
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An enjoyable piece of poetry, makes me think of when I was thirteen years old, we moved from one house to a new home and we planted an apple tree, it is still there to this day even though our family does not live in that house anymore. A good poem. Thanks for the reminder to memory. Good luck in the contest.
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A wonderful play upon words...the Son and the Apple Tree...born upon the same day and each grew to might heights, each giving a rich reward for that which was given...sighs...I like this lot...the pride of a Father for his Son thank you kindly for sharing him with me.
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Wonderfull! the rhyme is greaat with the starting stanzas abba scheme. The image is vivid. You seem to get better and better with each new poem.
Love,
Amera
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metaphore of life
Metaphore of life, an apple tree and a son, said with
the timely patience of what can be harvested , of what we sow and hopes . inspiring..
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A piece of wonderfully expressed wisdom from a man who can really write with depth and feeling - keep on hitting those glorious boundaries.
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Four trees that stand so tall and true
Planted with love, the seed of you
With time they've grown, changing the view
Family of Green
Nurtured with love throughout the years
Roots growing deep, allaying all fears
Sunshine, showers, heartache and tears
Family of Green
Wisdom the food on which they feed
Words from the stock they need to heed
For future lives, their greatest need
Family of Green
Love
Sue
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A simple metaphor, clearly expressed, well tailored to the form. If that's "getting there", let me know when you've got there.
From,
the lady who turned down an invitation to join Winklings.
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Thank-you for that!
Still getting there repeated words removed, meter now stronger. I don't thnk I'll ever be there of course, no such thing as perfect poetry.
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Och I don't know - write it all the time, myself!
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I remember the apple trees that grew behind my aunts house... when I was a child that was my aunts house was my favorite place to go. This poem reminded me of the many summer days as a tiny child reaching up to grab the apples but couldn't reach.
I really like this poem... it was an awesome read!!!
. Rewarded 6
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This is simply touching, I do love this one. then again your work is always amazing. Thanks for sharing this with us. I would point out faults if you would leave me some to pick apart
well done and best wishes to you
Love
Passions
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I agree with Yvette.Nice write!
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I like the title very much and it is a clear introduction and part and parcel of the poem. 'Tis a sweet write with the comparison of the life span of the growth of the son and that of the tree itself. Good luck in the contest.
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