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The Thundering Snow

A shattered rough, Nature so threw my sense
in awe observed the fall of snow, I watched
as quick the lightning struck out from the storm,

the chill so bleakly shown, a thunderhead.

 

So gave my pulse a rise, to think of whence

and lent to beauty flowing thoughts so notched.

A life remember, lost in timeless form

of sweet lamentfull dreams, so left unsaid.

 

The clouds so black as coal, elect offence

as sweet the tides of snow descending botched

a view so feint, a trait humanly warm.

On which of these, before the draw to bed 

 

the thoughts of mine so rest the dream of life,

before the grace of thundering snows, strife.

 

Author notes

My thoughts upon seeing "thundersnow" and reflecting upon it I see a most human stream of strife, yet was more inspired with a conversation.
Hope I hit a more iambic feel, for I am so blind to it's subtle nuances.
For more on thundersnow, : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thundersnow

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • maa gold member
    March 13, 2008

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    thanks goodness, I have moved away from thundersnows and company when choosing the south of france as my residence ...
    a very creative idea for a metaphor and its analogy in the human existance ... I enjoyed the unusual rhyme-scheme of abcd abcd ee, together with the elegant vocabulary ...

    bravo, my friend,
    maa


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    March 12, 2008

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    Winter storms have their own rules and beauty. Lovely imagery in this sonnet. Liked the "old school" feel. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela


  • MargaretG
    March 10, 2008

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    I have been in a winter storm with thunder, it is remarkable. The sonnet presents several good images, but I found the whole a little hard to follow; perhaps the calm after the storm.
    Also I notice the abcd sonnet, interesting.


  • Lyndon gold member
    March 9, 2008

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    Thundersnow ~ it had to be!

    All lines but the last are decasyllabic. Iambic feet throughout apart from three exceptions, one being within the final line, where this metrical strife with "strife". [faint].
    Your style follows the C16 English models which experimented further. Fewer rhymes.
    I enjoyed this poem.Thank you friend.
    Rhyme scheme: abcd x 3 + couplet ee.
    Lyndon of the Winklings.


  • Lyndon gold member
    February 14, 2008
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    Dropping by

    Quite a poem on this phenomenon.

1 - 5 of 5