When I first saw the portrait
Stopped in my tracks, I was amazed
The lines the curves oh! so majestic!
The fire in my heart, oh how it blazed!
I would have given anything for it
But now I know it could never fit
It was too late, the smile had caught me
And in its grasps I was destroyed
I had left myself open
And was sucked into the portrait's void
There I found the painter's true meaning
And the people with whom she toyed
But I still loved the portrait
So with hope and love forward I strove
The further I wandered into the vivid colors,
Brown hair and lips of red,
The more decay I stumbled upon
and with bits and pieces of me I tried to mend
But the more I tried, the more I died
and the more horrid the portrait seemed to become
Til staring at its ghastly image
I realized what it had done
It lures its victims in with its beauty
It lulls their spirits with its grace
and catches you in the net of love
as it drags you under to its final resting place
It spreads its poison through your body
and gets ready to feed on its prey
yet while all this is happening
you don't even lift a finger in dismay
For the love for the portrait still holds fast
Despite all the atrocities it has done to you
Maybe you can learn to love the painter?
Maybe she will learn to love you?
Author notes
Written November 22nd, 2003
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel by LostInThought.
250 points, ended December 22, 2003, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Disturbing, yet addictive... like Wheel of Fortune.
-Edguardo -
Well this was...intense. There was some increadible emotion in this piece. It was a very demanding, expressive poem, and I enjoyed the read. It wove a story of true heartbreak. Such vivid images and feelings. This was truly beautiful.
~~shattered -
Riveting...I was attached to the screen the whole time...this is an awesome piece. I look forward to reading more.
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wow...this was very powerful...very intense...I thought it to be very well written...full of dark emotion...then I read all these back and forth comments...wow...seems to be some drama here? I hope not...regardless...I really enjoyed this...had a great flow and rhythm to it...and the ending stanza...really pulls it all together quite well...very wonderful job
~~T~~ -
oh don't worry bout that I'm not a bitter person,
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Okay, good. Just don't be bitter, okay?
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well if I hadn't "liked" you before I woulda just fooled around and that'd have been the end of that. I should have seen it, but I guess, I was going in shutting my eyes as you said. But its fine, it was a long time ago and its fine now. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
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I wasn't criticizing you or who you're attracted to. And I'm sorry if it seemed that way. It's not like I purposely set out to hurt you. I didn't think you were coming into this blind. I mean, you know me, you know one of my very best friends, Amanda (H.), and you know our reputations. We're not exactly known for, uh, how should I say this?...relationships? And if you were just a normal guy, you would have totally been up for just fooling around and that's it. But you're just weird and good, and I don't know how to deal with that. So, I don't know. I guess you should find someone with feelings, and then you'll probably have a nice little relationship-thingy, and you won't get hurt as much.
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Hey, I can't stop who I'm attracted too, half the time I don't even know why I am.
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Well, I can see how my astounding lingustic skills ensnared you. I get that quite often, actually. You'd probably be surprised. Oh, wait. That's not true! Nevermind then.
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Don't worry this poem isn't totally about you, you just provided the base emotion, then I just build up off of that emotion emphasising certains parts, made it bigger than life, so eventually the base becomes just a foundation for something more. You may have never lied to me, but I didn't know just the same. Something about you I just happened to like alot, just the way you acted and talked. I know you don't go around ensnaring people trying to destroy them. I just felt that way right after it happened.
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