Forsaken;
left to contemplate
decreasing arc of personal space,
fading with the final strings
of faux ballad -
each note a tear upon yesterdays page.
Imprisoned
behind the melody of laughter
echoing in each memory,
forever ingrained to taunt this fractured hope
that arms may again fold in caress.
Each tomorrow;
subfusc splash upon forsaken future,
each yesterday shedding its colourful skin
to lay like your farewell upon these lips,
tainting every breath,
and sorrow is a tattoo
of longing for years to fall by,
Perhaps to fade into subtle scars
reminding me of a doorway forever closed.
Author notes
I make no bones about this piece being my own version of "The Sound of Ache" .. I know it can never be as good as the orginal, but those words said so much to me, I felt I had to attempt to write those feelings in my own way.
I appologise to PerfectImperfection if my effort makes yours seem less.
In a list
A contest entry
- One Poem A Week...A Series/ Week 6 Featuring PerfectImperfection by poet2angels.
800 points, ended February 17, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #53 turning silver to gold by daviscth.
300 points, ended March 5, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I was going to point out my favorite part but I couldn't choose. So i'll just say the whole piece is awesome!
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In NO possible way does this make my poem seem less at all... I love this!!! Such an incredible interpretation of your own thought. It is heart wrenching and absolutely beautiful! Thank you so much for taking the time to enter & Best wishes in the contest!
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I thank you for your kind comment, I didn't really see any other way to to write this piece but in my own way and I hope as a compliment to yours.
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I really adore this piece, it's beautiful and it states how you felt. Cheers to a good write, I hope to read more soon!
-Liv
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This is beautiful. It said all you felt and more. <3 Good write... or... uh... rewrite?
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I liked the form and how it twisted and changed suddenly at the end to deliver the last few lines.
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You did a wonderful job with this. We all feel emotions differently and write them to suit or feelings. I felt every word you wrote and that to me is how I define poetry. It has to make me feel, and yours did..
Great job and good luck in the contest.
Soulful Woman
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This poem needs no apology...
This is amazing in it's own right and so beautifully emotional to read...
It is such a wonderful thing when a poem can touch you deep and inspire you to create yet another masterpiece ...Beautifully written!
Lynda
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