only six meanings
for guitar: everglade
or an echo
of all songs you've moistened;
one whole octave of nothing but fullness
then comes absence,
at a loss - all a's and anguish;
dodoed somewhere between G clef
and B minor
I know nothing of your language,
of the blisters in your tone:
your six strings -
more flesh
than substance,
like a wave,
an ocean
deep between your ribs;
at oceans, at the plucking of so many strings
here -
where your music
has more
syllables
Author notes
to nakul, with love
neeyenna ragatthinu thaalam pakaran, ethu vadyam janikkunnu? ethu vadyam muzhangunnu?
what music lives to accompany the song you are? what music will ever be born?
first two stanzas - have EADGBE, the six strings of a guitar
In a list
A contest entry
- finger music: strings by Nicolette.
1050 points, ended February 25, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Free Verse with Silver Lining by Randomly Beautiful.
300 points, ended March 3, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please give some honest and constructive criticism -
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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You rock.
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this is beautiful, again, congratulations, Nami
*sigh*
*applause over and over*
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You are beautiful my love.
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Beautifully written.
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This is lovely.
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i really can't wait to see how your writing morphs over the course of the next few years.
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Crap. I officially lost this contest.
Your writing is just so GOOD and amazing... You've penned so much emotion into just one poem and given a lifeless guitar so much personality.
Tell me your secret.
~Cassie
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You have an amazing talent to write such pure poetry, your words are a pleasure to read. I read and re read both to enjoy again and because you had asked for constructive criticism. The first read through I was carried by the piece entirely, at the second I noticed ocean and oceans within the same stanza and wondered whether one reference could be omitted but in all honesty I wouldn't change a single word, this is outstandingly beautiful. Bravo!
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i enjoyed this 'strumming' very much very clever ending was very well done thanks for sharing regards zaj [AND rather translate the saying into french/spanish instead of the thrown together JAMAICAN dialect it appears to be]
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What a lovely poem. I love the guitar. You have penned perfect music.
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~
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Lovely finger music you have shard in these lines. Poetry flowing and very visual as well - metaphoric- wonderful.
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PRETTY!!!!!!!
Since, I have twenty guitars sitting around my house, staring at me all day, I can soooooooo say how I simply ADORE this fine, finger write!!! Awesomely penned!! Love thew concept, cuz I live and breathe guitar! lol I have been married to one for twebty five years now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
POETDONTKNOWIT
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I can see nothing that would make this poem better, it's perfect!
When music makes love sway, that is when we have romance.
Loved this poem!
Mari
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You definately are poetry personified, packed in to the body of a young woman, poetry that spills from the hand that holds the pen and make music for all ears to enjoy. I loved the way you've weaved the six strings of a guitar into the first two stanza - brilliantly done, Namita.
I loved the final stanza too - such a strong note you end this piece on. Yes, you have talent and everytime you write music is being born. I'm sure your brother would love this poem too
Thank you for sharing your music with us.
~ Nicolette
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an incredible write, Namita, and the final stanza is purely a wowzer.
you have a true gift
thanks for creating this for us
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I think you're one of the most talented writers on this site, to come up with something like this. Light years ahead . . . beautiful poetry my dear.
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i see some new things here. beautiful beautiful poetry.
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Lovely Namita, always an excellent write - I love the vibe of this piece.
Thanks for sharing
HENSLEY
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*sigh*
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Honest: It's beautiful. Constructive criticism: Don't change a thing. Good luck in Nic & Guy's contest, Sweetie. Wanda
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