While your satisfaction rests
on my failure,
(my feigned inability to succeed without you)
you live dissatisfied;
waiting to exhale.
Author notes
Prompt: Denial
20 words or less.
A contest entry
- Word Prompt: 20 words by Seeking Peace.
375 points, ended February 14, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Oy!!
This one grabs and tugs hard at the Mind!!
Magnificent take on the prompt~~
Jaw dropper...
Brilliant!!
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Desire
I thank you so much. It is always a pleasure when you pop by to read my work and leave your wonderful impressions. Thank you so much. so thank much. ~Pamela 
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Wow- a powerpacked couple of lines, strong in simplicity and beautifully penned.
The truth and poingancy of these words is a bit of a slap across the face of denial.
Lovely stuff!
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TillyMay
Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate them so much and am very pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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Lovely description of the best of all possible revenges on an unpleasant relationship: peace, happiness, success. Great title, excellent use of your words. Congrats on the gold!
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Mirthryl
Thank you so much. I am so pleased you enjoyed this piece and appreciate your kind words very much. ~Pamela
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Elegant and too justified in many
"relationships". Glad to see the
gold on this impacting brevity. Blue
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Blue
I was having "a moment".
But it passed. Thank you so much for taking a moment to read and to leave your comments. I always appreciate your impressions on my verse. Thank you. ~Pamela
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Not bad ...
but I think the use of "my failure" is diametrically opposed to "feigned inability to succeed". Congrats on the Gold in any case.
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ecrivain01
Thank you. ~Pamela
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Congratulations on gold!
I truly understand this poem. Advice to an "ex" is don't hold your breath!
Yet, away from the profane; your poem is supremely elegant.
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Ron
Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this. ~Pamela
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Jim's evaluation
I think, misses the ellipsis where "my failure" means "your perceived notion of failure that you see in me". The elliptical conciseness of this poem means the whole poem is well-integrated. Sorry, Jim.
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The Gold when it appears along side your name is never a surprise to me I always see your work with golden eyes Excellent as always
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Legend
From you, those are beautiful words my dear friend. Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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Ohhhh this is just superb... I love the emotion and phrasing... sensational
Thanks for taking the time to enter this contest, wishing you all the best
Karen -
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Karen
Thank you so much for your most kind words and the honor of gold in your contest. I am simply thrilled considering all the wonderful entries. Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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Ohhhhh a very powerful statement Pamela. Nicely written and well thought out. Excellent. Good luck in the contest with this stunning entry.
Shaz xx
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Shaz
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so pleased you enjoyed. I always appreciate a comment from you. Thank you. ~Pamela
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What a nice little spotlight on dysfunction for Valentine's Day. lol Nicely done poet P.A.L.
Paul
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Paul
Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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Turning of the screw.
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Jim
Indeed tis true tis true.
Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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ouch is right.
I agree ouch, a very deep take on the prompt denial,
so much said in so little words. it leaves you to ponder within it.
Warm thoughts.
Frozentearz -
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Frozentearz
Thank you so much my friend. I am so pleased for your comment here. ~Pamela
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ouch!
this is certainly to the point!
extremely vividand biting words. thank goodness these darts aren't meant for me! l.o.l.!
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Swangrnv
Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this little tidbit. ~Pamela
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This is probably the best kind of denial one can give. Excellent poetry. You have quite a unique mind Pamela. Happy Valentines Day. -Wil
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Wil
Thank you my friend. ~Pamela
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oh my!!! THIS is... oh... i don't have the words, but if tears can speak... a thousand clappies. *deep breath*
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going nowhere
Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this little piece. Always a pleasure to see your comments on my verse. ~Pamela
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oooh... this is a great take on the prompt.
But I would expect nothing less from you
Great job and best of luck in the contest
Delila
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Delila
Thank you so much. I am so pleased for your comment on this piece. Thanks again. ~Pamela
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