we open our eyes like a newborn buttercup
and drink in our spring surroundings,
the sky a clear aqua
a crayon-yellow sun doodling
across the clouds.
and it feels so good.
Author notes
hope this is what you're looking for.
cute contest idea by the way.
A contest entry
- Here's something interesting. by celestial.
300 points, ended March 27, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
blah.....here we go.....
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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crayon yellow sun. such pretty imagery. it reminds me of a little girl at her preschool, drawing the sky with her crayons and dreaming what her future would hold. a lovely image. thank you.
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Aww -
now that is just plain adorable.
Great use of imagery. But I agree with blemished irises, it's kind of short. And if you can, it would be cool to see a revised version with much more to it.
Very pretty, and thank you for sharing.
xx
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this poem is cute doll, but i would suggest adding some more emphasis on your words.
The imagery is good but unless there is a word count i would make some of the lines longer.
I enjoyed reading this but i didnt know this poem was about love until i went to the contest page.
anyway; its cute. I especially like the buttercup.
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this was very sweet . nicely done best of luck in the contest !
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This was cute. I like the whole crayon idea
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