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Enough

Missing image

Music’s decrescendo
tumbles down

mountain’s slanted face
then rises up again
in gentle strokes,
granting tender lilt
      to lavender and longing.

Though it is just sound,

my soul could chase its haunting bliss,
and grasp                   
at every nearly-animate strain

to feel rhythms
slip through fingers
and barely wisp at skin,
arousing ardent lips;

But, instead,

I remain here
in these foothills

head upon a rock,
face and smile softly upturned,
listening to its distant
beauty,

And resting--

having known
the deeper kiss
of sufficient grace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

PROMPT:
"Music, sweet music
I wish I could caress
and kiss, kiss"

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 23 of 23
  • luv2dream gold member
    November 17
    ?
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    i wanted to read this because I saw you were talking about music but nature too so beautiful." my soul could chase its haunting bliss,
    and grasp
    at every nearly-animate strain

    to feel rhythms
    slip through fingers
    and barely wisp at skin,
    arousing ardent lips;" i love that part the best


  • Stuart Higginson gold member
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is the first poem of yours I've read that hasn't had a tree theme/feature, lol! I really liked this (though am missing your tree-tales!). It was not only man-made music that came to mind while reading this piece, but the music we know and love as "air", singing down in symphonies from the mountain in the picture, onto paper and screen.

    "to feel rhythms
    slip through fingers
    and barely wisp at skin," .... a river of melodies was the image this conjured; a river that washes over you as you listen restfully.

    Really liked this, Ten


  • AsIThink gold member
    April 12

    Edit | Reply

    BRAVO!!!

    This is a wonderful piece of work ten. Congrats on the trophies...obviously well-earned. These lines got me the most:

    "But, instead,

    I remain here
    in these foothills

    head upon a rock,
    face and smile softly upturned,
    listening to its distant
    beauty,

    And resting--"

    There was just something calming about them; something that spoke to me and the innate urge in me for solitude and time for nature. I loved the flow and feel of this (and the beautiful scene as well).

    AsIThink...


  • Joseph Hollis
    December 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nature's song in written form. Brilliant crafting and word choice in this piece. You've painted a lovely picture here. Thanks for sharing.


  • Flowergirl
    August 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great write i loved it keep writting...


  • Lj-
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I really like this.
    Favorite lines:
    "granting tender lilt
    to lavender and longing."

    Great write.


  • Randomly Beautiful
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I love this. The ending was just perfect. Your flow was soft and lovely. Sufficient grace is something we far too often take for granted. I am happy to have found this today. Later I will be checking out more of your work. Truly this was beautiful.

  • Kalamina
    March 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You captured a lot in this poem, i thoroughly enjoyed it, it made me miss home so much! The mountains are so beautiful, and yes, it brings a peace to be in the midst of them.


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    March 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is so lovely. I am pleased your work was featured because I think everyone needs to hear your beautiful voice. You never obscure your meaning with unnecessary verbiage. Each phrase is perfectly placed to guide the reader and let your music sing. Congratulations on your trophies. Very nicely written. Peace, Liz


  • TaraKM silver member
    March 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    Lovely writing, the words simply flow from line to line. I found the most impressing part of this poem to be the curious and spectacular use of vocabulary. I'm not sure if a theasarus was used here, but it doesn't matter, as the writing is good! Great job.


  • paulcreates silver member
    March 2, 2008

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    Wow ttc this is beautiful. We here in Colorado enjoy several vistas such as this and you have captured them all in this writing. Very well done.
    Paul

  • Michael P gold member
    March 2, 2008

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    beautiful Ten I really felt your contented ease at the end of this, like a very spiritual love happy to have known and satisfied to watch the love contained in elsewheres-beautiful.


  • cherche -d -ame
    March 2, 2008

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    to comment on such beauty would only take away from it, so I will simply say "thank you for sharing your talent"
    reenie


  • nilav
    March 1, 2008

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    the picture is an eye-feast and the poem is a feast for the mind....to the lavender and longing...lovely..


  • scentedrose
    March 1, 2008

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    Beautiful

    I love this poem. It is a beauty. I really Enjoyed the craft of your write,
    mild improvement needed but barely.
    Great job.


  • DogFish silver member
    March 1, 2008
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    Really made me want to be there!


  • Rashae
    March 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written!


  • wakingdevil
    February 29, 2008

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    Such a beautiful piece filled with emotions and a sweet flow.The phrasings were wonderfully done and lent a gentle lull to the write.Well done and deserving of the trophies it recieved


  • Tangled Angle
    February 29, 2008
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    Congratulations for placing 3rd out of 100 entries.


  • Tangled Angle
    February 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.


  • Peteskid gold member
    February 24, 2008

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    something that makes such glorious sights and feelings fade even a bit may well be described as grace... a lovely writing here, wonderful depth and imagery...PK


  • Everwind Rising
    February 24, 2008

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    Absolutely beautiful. Your word choices are perfect and lend such a lyrical quality to this piece. I love the way you move from an earthly image to a heavenly truth and use music here as your intermidiary


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very beautiful piece, lovely expression and imagery. I loved the mountains slanted face and the deeper kiss of sufficient grace as well as the decrescendo, just wonderful phrasing. Hugs, Bunny

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