Tears in the raindrops,
Drowning a boy,
His cold dead fingers,
Still clutching a toy.
Accident they called it,
No trouble was meant,
Such horrors I tell you,
Can never be dreamt.
Caught in the crossfire,
A badly aimed shot,
No trial or jury,
But deaths what he’s got.
Comments
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as a caveat before u read my comments generally stay away from 'goth'/vampire stuff that written i found this entertainingly depraved title was good beginning drew you in last line was 'killer'[pun intended] a very good write short told well the only thing i might question is this the 2nd line:"Drowning a boy," strange only because of the tense and immediately followed by 'clutching' in the next sentence - will have to give it a while to read again later to still see if i have reservations about this i thought this a very complete write thanks for sharing regards zaj
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I really liked this write despite its state of melancholy. It has a nice beat and I really like how the title corresponds with the piece. Thanks for sharing.
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This is a great poem.
What was your motivation for writing this poem?
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a very sad write dear poet.
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