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Cream and Sugar, Please.

The rich aroma transfers me to a different time.
A time, in which, life had no reason or rhyme.
There on my father's lap, the world was in my hand.
My dreams had no limitations, elegant and grand.

There beside him on a crocheted coaster, steaming hot,
Coffee, black; there was always a fresh pot.
His smile warm, his attention all mine,
Whether I was laughing or he wiped tears I'd been crying.

Wanting to be like him, I always wanted a taste.
He always declined telling me of the troubles I faced.
"Straight coffee will surely turn your little toes black,
But that's not all you'll grow hair down your back!"

Those were the days, so worry free,
My dads warm embrace, and his love for me.
To this day, coffee takes me back,
But I'll have cream and sugar, please, NEVER just black.


A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Ryno
    June 26, 2008
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    _Yes_ Creativity / Originality
    _Yes_ Imagery
    _Yes_ Metaphor
    _Yes_ Emotion
    _No_ Reaction
    _Yes_ Relatability
    _Yes_ Fluency
    _No_ Powerful Beginning
    _Yes_ Powerful Middle
    _Yes_ Powerful Ending
    _Yes_ Connecting Ideas
    _Yes_ Interesting Idea Behind Piece and/or a Message Behind Piece
    _Yes_ Interesting In General (Does Not Bore)


  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good thanks for entering my contest and i hope to read more from you sooen. I see you have won several trophies from this poem.


  • true.romance
    June 6, 2008
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    I really really liked this. wonderful write, good luck in the contest.


  • Legend silver member
    May 28, 2008

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    Congratulations on a wonderful piece and a richly deserved Gold award A pleasure to have read

    Is there a small typo line 5 Crotched/ Crocheted ?


    • marciakay81
      May 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the gracious comment...and pointing out the typo, oops .


  • Intricate Wordsmith
    May 27, 2008

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    I love this poem. . .It reminds me of what my parents and grandfather say to me regarding the amount of coffee I drink. Good luck in my contest.


  • sassykitty
    May 20, 2008

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    What an evocative poem - it's particualarly personal and highly effective. I really like the way you use different senses to recapture the moment of spending time with a loved one. The nostalgic and fond tone are clearly evident in your words.


  • Heavens Child
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's amazing what things can stir memories. A wonderful poem. Best wishes and thank you for entering.


  • argyra-potameides
    March 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol I can't keep my kids from drinking my coffee if it has cream and sugar in it So I tend to keep it dark and strong.

    What a wonderful memory, thank you for sharing. So exquisitely written.


  • The Poetic Angel
    March 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    butiful...i like how you used the memories of you dad and now you never take it black..unlike me lol

    fanx you for entering and good luck

    cheeky


  • Corvus Corone
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Cool What a wonderful way to remember someone so special as 'dad'.

     

     

    "Straight coffee will surely turn your little toes black,
    But that's not all you'll grow hair down your back!"

     

    I can vaguely recall my mother saying similar, as yet my toes are not black and no hair on the back either, I still take my coffee black, strong and dangerous.

     

    Thank you for entering


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    March 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely memoir that finds pleasure in the simpliest of thoughts. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz


  • transit
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aaww

    such a sweet poem about memories with your father. I am not sure if this is true but it made me feel like I was this little girl who was sitting on her father's lap.

    The rhyme is brilliantly exacuted as well for I hardly noticed it till later on. The relationship is a very close one and to share dreams with coffee at the side is as good as it gets.

    the child-like innocence made me want to go back to when I was five. The last two lines are a good ending to this lovely piece. Good to know, it's NEVER black! good luck in the contest!

    love,
    transit


  • Blooming Poet
    March 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The memories that arise from something as simple as coffee in this poem, is a very poetic development. Love these lines: The rich aroma transfers me to a different time. A time, in which, life had no reason or rhyme.


  • redmarkonthewall
    February 26, 2008
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    Well done! Amazing really. It is amazing how the oddest, the littlest and most simple things can take you back to times already lived. I for one do not like coffee, I don't mind the smell though... Loved this, it flows well, like fresh coffee into a clean mug(Yes, I just had to). Thank you for this brillaint write. Good luck to you.


  • Dienush
    February 24, 2008

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    I like how you keep up the coffee motif, this poem shows exactly how involuntary memory works. Very nice twist in the end - about the suigar and cream. That can be interpreted so many ways. Thanks for your entry

    ~Diana


  • parntsoftwins
    February 14, 2008
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    This poem is as far as I'm concerned the perfect answer to the prompt. Each line flows with ease, and the rhyme never misses a beat. I truly enjoyed this piece! Best of luck in the contest, and it deeply deserves two thumbs up. Well done!~Nikki

    • marciakay81
      February 15, 2008
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      Thanks!

      this contest hit home...my dad is fighting cancer so there are alot of things these days that remind me of him. Thanks again for the comment.


  • SenseiRidgway
    February 14, 2008
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    The best I've seen from you so far sis,indeed those were the good ol' days.


  • theeUnknown
    February 13, 2008

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    This was so great. I love the description. It made me think I was there. I could smell the coffee aroma. Lol, the backround goes perfect. The title is cute. Good luck in the contest.
    ~jen

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