The day that everything's so sweet,
that you make my life complete,
that we share the same heartbeat.
that we're holding hands on the street.
For you, I'd look for gigantic pearls in the Atlantic
and that's just one of my romantic, outrageous antics.
I'll bring you a serenade,
with words that are home-made.
You don't need to be afraid
because our love will never fade.
I'll give you an unique ring
that is not even worn by kings.
You make every day look like spring,
when the flowers grow and the birds sing.
The day that everything's so bitter.
You threw away my gifts like litter.
For me, this day isn't filled with glitter.
You're no longer as cute as my critters.
You got many cards in Valentine's style
and mine is on the bottom of your pile.
On this day, I am even more cynical
than Gregory House on his pinnacle.
I say that this is the day of marketing,
that once a year, cash registers go Ka-Ching!
Me and many others have had it with all these rejections
and preach that love is like a heroine injection.
On the fourteenth of February,
I'd rather be in a mortuary!
In a list
A contest entry
- Free write & Pre-written allowed!!! Anyone can enter!! by StarDustedTears3.
319 points, ended March 3, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - just about anything :) by nobodys-girl.
300 points, ended April 10, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hit me with EVERYTHING. PW OK! by z etoile.
375 points, ended March 28, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire me; Anything Goes by wolfcub.
450 points, ended April 16, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥♥♥♥Lovesick or Sick of Love?♥♥♥♥ by Sorath.
600 points, ended April 21, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Rhyme overload! I'm not a great fan of huge reams of rhyme for one sound, and I've just remembered why. I think the overuse of one sound here draws the attention away from what you're actually saying, when what you're saying here is very good. Couplets are fine, or an ABAB type rhyme scheme, but this is too much for my taste.
However, the rhymes are generally good throughout, and (apart from the first and last lines of the first stanza) don't sound forced. And I like the idea for this poem.
Thankyou for entering and good luck
Katie -
Very awesomely written, and very poetical. It bears a great message and has great flow, who could ask for more? Love it.
Bravo,
Silvos.
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i totally agree with this. if your single you dread valentines day but when in a relationship people tend to look forward to it. thankyou so much for entering my contest and good luck!
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Lol. That's rather funny. Brings out just how horrible Valentines Day can be. But, we just have to deal. I like the rhyming and the structure. It's good. Great write.
-The Dark Poet-
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