Pale eyes and twitching branches signal green
To distant lover’s soft imagined cross.
Damp and cloaked in moss,
The deep supporting root, beneath
Sinks boneward, unseen.
If greater beauty grows here,
Then angel, scent it out.
Perfect, fragranced heads I tend for you,
Banked in ancient leaf
And wept with dew.
Author notes
Prompt: 51 words, 54 with title.
A contest entry
- Semi Quickie And Possible publishing. by creationsfromheart.
650 points, ended March 12, 2008, 41 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite only From the 50-55 amazing words contest by creationsfromheart.
415 points, ended March 13, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *** UNCOVER MY FEELINGS *** by Rebekah-Ann.
500 points, ended April 2, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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And wept with dew. I have heard weaping with rain so often but this was fresh and new! Thank you for your entry!
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Very nice
I liked this a lot.
Short and to the point. This is the first poem I've read from you, but from this one might gather that brevity is one of your strong points.
"The deep supporting root, beneath
Sinks boneward, unseen."
"Banked in ancient leaf
And wept with dew."
Were very strong lines...Your imagery was great
Keep it up, and congrats on the publishing
Brandon Spalletta
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Very intense imagery here, and a stunning poem. I liked the earthy feel! Congrats. On the Bronze!
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thank you
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How lovely this poem you have penned here. Liked the flow and the images that come to mind when reading these words. Congratulations on the bronze trophy as well.
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An enjoyable piece of poetry, I was a little distracted with scent - sent but other than that a good peom.
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Wow, this is really good, especially for only 51 words!
I really love the last two lines, they are brilliant!
Great work, I really hope you win or at least placde in the contest!
Good luck!
Keep writing, never stop!
Doodles
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wow a wonderful write on your title i love trees banked in ancient leaf and wept with dew good luck in the contest
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Absolutely beautiful. I loved your striking imagery. Also, your spacing and grammar are excellent, and that really makes the poem lovely to read.
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this is very good, however bone ward would be two words which would then put you at 51 Good luck in the contest
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Hi thanks for the suggestion, but no I can't do that! 'boneward' it must be (like 'homeward'), in any case 'bone ward' sounds like part of a hospital!
I'm guessing that you counted my hyphenated 'prefect-fragranced' as one word, which strictly speaking I suppose it is, so I've adjusted that to read as two words.
I make it 51 (which is now what I feel...)
So I take a bow and thank you with a flicker of my eyes, my friend.
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