CHASING DREAMS
Fly me away wind, past the moon,
away from life's destruction and ruin.
Sail me through the Heaven on high,
soar like an eagle through the sky.
Take me up to meet the sunbeams,
no matter how far away it seems.
Let me try to catch that falling star,
up to happiness no matter how far.
Floating around many light years away,
let me search for love come what may.
Leap frog from star to star in play,
chasing moonbeams all along the way.
Carry me up wind above the earth,
fill my heart with merriment and mirth.
Let my mind travel for mile after mile,
to the warmth of the sun to finally smile.
Wind keep me there forever and a day,
there my dreams don't seem so far away.
Up where my love and I can wander free,
with warm thoughts rushing back to me.
In a list
A contest entry
- Peter Pan by technicolor girl.
300 points, ended March 2, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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What a lovely fantasy!
I wish i were there, you took us on a beautiful journey once again Sandy.
Slán Dolores xx
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Thank you for the lovely comment Dolores. I always appreciate when you drop by. Take care, Sandy
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Sweet imagwery, person
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Nice Comment. Thank you. Take care,. Sandy
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As I read some of the commennts, my reply is do I like it or don't I and the answer is, "YES" very much. But as hard as I try I don't understand love. I don't understand a stanza form a stallion and who cares. Did this poem touch me or didn't it and again I say "YES" very much so. Great job Sandy.
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Hello Jeff, always so nice to read aa comment from my dear friend. I hope all is well. You take care. I am glad you enjoyed this one. Take care, Sandy
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such a write of love from a compassionate heart. well done. success in the contest.
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Hello Jules. Always a pleasure when you stop by my friend. I hope all is well there. You take care, Sandy
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I like the sequence here abab for the quatrain rhyme. The flow moves quickly. Second stanza line 2 might delete fetched, make it positive. Description is nicely used for the reader to follow. Stanza three and four are nicely done and they leave me with a smile. Stanza five is lovely to join the narrator and the one of their dreams.
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Hello chiefmac.
Your comment was so nice. I am glad you enjoyed reading my poem. A pleasure as always when you stop by. Take care, Sandy
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very good
you've done it again
brilliant
fantastic imagery
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A lovely comment!!! Thank you for reading. You take care, Sandy
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I love the theme and the rhyme. Your imagery is vivid and well chosen The rhythm seems just a little discordant, but I love it just the way it is.
By discordant I mean the sound seems almost to miss a beat at times. For example in the last verse.
Wind keep me there for ever and a day
where my dreams never seem far a way
where my love and I can wonder free
with warm thoughts rushing back to me.
Changing the don't to free when read aloud seems to add a syllable that is dropped with don't. The word doesn't seems to also seems to pick it up as well.
This seems to have just a little less of a ragged flow but it may just be my imagination. Where are your warm thoughts rushing back from. Did I miss that in your development of the story line?
Would dropping out the can and the back totally change the intent you were intending to achieve or were they there for rhythm? It seems to flow well either with or with out them.
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Hello, Thank you for this wonderful comment and the advice. I am not a big syllable counter. I appreciate you reading. You take care, Sandy
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Sometimes it's really necessary to get away from life's destruction and escape to this place that you write of! Very well written and meaningful, I love it!
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Your comment was delightful!!! I am so glad you enjoyed. Thank you for reading. Take care, Sandy
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As always you did a perfect job on this piece. You have vivid imagery here. I love this.
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A lovely comment. I appreciate you stopping by. You take care. Sandy
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Great verse
Lovely imagery - wonderful imagination! This poem takes us to the stars and beyond. -
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Hello Harriet. Thank you for the lovely comment. You take care, Sandy
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ohgrammy this is such a beautiful and inpsiring piece that has captured my thoughts and mind with your wording. yu always manage to inspire and amaze me.love you grammy
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Hello dear Char. A sweet comment. I am glad my poem inspires you. Hope you are enjoying this Valentine's Day.
You take care. Many Blessings, Grammy
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