I am green with envy
the bile shimmies up my throat
as my stomach churns with fury
I hate the thought
you are better than me
but alas, it is I,
who shall win in the end.
Author notes
I chose option #9
A contest entry
- Inspired By A Colour by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended September 5, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blow Me Away. by Dead Red Head.
400 points, ended November 5, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options! most anything goes! by Thendestinystruck.
550 points, ended January 6, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anniversary of My Birth as an AP Poet =] by Memoirs of a Girl.
700 points, ended January 18, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I want readers to give me honest feedback and any suggestions you may have.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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envy, is not too bad as it drives us to be better, if we see others dong better than us then we have our fires fuelled, a good poem.
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I can completely relate to this piece! I'm sure a lot of other people can, too. It's so short, yet it says so much. Great use of vocabulary, also.
Great write and thanks for entering!
~Memoirs
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you know this reminds me of the movie 'the count of monte cristo' a very nice write!
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Oh I know too much about envy, I feel it a lot these days. Well put, love the use of bile as well.
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giggle..i loved your ending!
I have a bit of competitive streak in me too...i enjoy
having friends or associates that are more intelligent
or perhaps successful then myself....they always have
so much to teach and learn from.
But yes it does feel like bile...when jealousy oozes
out our souls.
ears/Seattle well done! it's simplicity
really spoke volumes...i bet we all heard it differently
too.
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Nice little poem that expresses how you feel. I enjoyed this. Well done.
Thanks for entering my contest.
xxx -
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Thank you for such kind words. I appreciate you lettin me be an entry.
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Huh, good way to describe the feeling. I like how the title is "So Envious", as most would want to just call the peice "Envious", and I think the "So" adds the character. I love th last line, it brings out a little rebellion, the little voice in side that says "I WANT and SHALL have the last word!" Anyways, good job.
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I am glad you noticed how I put the "So" in front of envious to add to the feeling I was going for. And yes I have a rebellious side in me, which is why exactly why I wrote it that way. You read me well and don't even know me lol. Thanks for your comments as they are much appreciated.
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I think you did a great job with your prompt. At first I thought you were talking about acid reflux..lol One thing, then should be than. Other than that, good write. Good luck in the contest.
Kelli -
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I was hoping the poem fit with the prompt. I never thought it could seem like acid reflux at first lol. You are too funny! Thank you also for the correction of "than" in poem, for I didn't even notice that. Much appreciated. Love ya
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There is strength in this write, mom. Especially with the ending part.
"I hate the thought
...
who shall win in the end."
Nice usage of the term "green with envy" as well.
Awesome write mom!
M a r l u x i a
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