Waking from a long slumber
She gazed on the void,
Without light,
Without form,
Without hope.
From a red canvas bag,
Embroidered with wondrous designs,
She scattered dust,
Enough dust to build a universe.
Combing her long red hair,
She closed her eyes,
Imagining a force,
A force that would create order.
Slowly at first, and then with gathering haste,
The dust coalesced
Drawing in more matter
To form stars, red giants, super novas,
Great swirling galaxies of stars.
The void had become a universe,
A zillion, zillion points of light
Illuminated the heavens,
Banishing darkness,
Bringing light.
.
Looking down on a small planet,
A mass of molten rock,
The waste dust of an insignificant star,
She saw its future, its possibilities
For beauty and desolation,
For joy and sadness.
Finally she saw its destruction,
(For, all things that have a beginning have an end)
Then she wept salt tears
And the world was covered by water.
And so ended the first day of time.
Author notes
I think it’s rather fun to imagine God as a nine year old girl with red hair and freckles in a green gingham dress. I hope that’s not sacrilege.
A contest entry
- PLEASE! Help me get rid of my points! by Shenanigans.
1000 points, ended May 19, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'm here to learn, you are all poets so I respect your criticism.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I did read this a while ago, and it must have been late at night because i failed to comment. I love how it begins with a macro vision of the beginning and then zooms in for a close-up on one, lone planet which your god took care to notice and reflect on.
I think it's our duty, as writers, to imagine God as anything but what the 'good book' claims He is, to imagine the possibilities.
When I was about nine, I wanted to be an astronomer. Lovely picture.
and you have a wonderful Easter weekend, as well
-K
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haha, I love your author's comment. This was really cool--I like the idea of God weeping to form the oceans. Best of luck to you!
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very nice
very nice write . . liked the progression . . also liked "A force that would create order" and "And so ended the first day of time" . .
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no apologies, please! This is a wonderful poem, and yes, I agree, Peter...it is rather fun to think of God as anyone other than a old bearded man with a staff of angels
Your imagination certainly tickled mine with this write. Love, Lane
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Incredible
This poem creates wonderful imagery. It is so easy for me to image the woman with the long red hair, the stars, the weeping, and the world being covered with water. Absolutely amazing.
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Looking down on a small planet,
A mass of molten rock,
The waste dust of an insignificant star,
She saw its future, its possibilities
For beauty and desolation,
For joy and sadness.
Stunning!
I have a contest going that accepts PW-you should enter this. I'm not saying it will win, but it has a definite place in the finalist's list...
Peace,
This truly is gorgeous,
Jin
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this was a pleasure to read
descriptive but not overly so. imaginative too. i like the perspective you've written from
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Very descriptive and insightful! God is a woman, I gotta love it! The "joy and sadness"... Incredible!!
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I think it is cute. She reminds me of Anne of green gables tho, lol. Nice write. Thanks for sharring it with us
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This is a beautiful piece hun, you have captured some gorgeous imagery in this and what a way to picture her lol, goodluck in this contest
Karen
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