He fucking looked at me & it made me feel so fucking small.
I'm sick & I'm tired of all of this belittling shit.
I'm not five.
I'm fucking almost 20.
I'm on medications they probably haven't even heard of,
trying to keep my composure
& all they can say is:
"You need to get your shit together."
I'm stressed out, I'm fucked up.
I want him to hold me in his arms and say
"Baby, this is all going to be okay."
Even if it won't.
Even if it will never be okay.
Even if it is a fucking lie to my fucking face.
My brain wants to hear it's okay for the sake of my fucking skull.
My fucking brain.
My fucking pain.
My fucking skin.
My fucking everything.
I want to put Paramore on repeat & hide in my room.
I want to sleep & wake up when it's Thursday.
So I can wake up to his eyes staring back into mine.
Feel his body up close to mine.
Then I won't feel all of this fucking pain.
Author notes
This was a perfect time for me to just sit & rant.
Thank you.
A contest entry
- Something Different by Exodus.
525 points, ended March 10, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
She gets this way when she misses you.
Comments
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I love this...I felt the same way for a long time when I was younger...
YOU ARE NOW MY POETRY HERO!!!!
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"I'm on medications they probably haven't even heard of,
trying to keep my composure
& all they can say is:
"You need to get your shit together." "
Oh boy do I know that one. They tell you that you need to get "better" and they'll smile so long as you're smiling. But the minute you're anything but perfectly happy they're down your thoat about being different or not being enough. Hell I don't even know half the time but I still want to scream at them (haha now I'm ranting, sorry hun).
Anyway, this is wonderful and I can feel the emotion in this, which is exactly what I was looking for.
Thanks babe
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that sounded stressed out. i get that kinda feeling when my dad gets in my face.. wow. love this. tc
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I really like reading peoples' rants.......that one was quite stylish, & thats why i liked it......It was well-put together, and well-said...........best of luck in your contest!
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