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Aftermath

Veins collapse
heart slows
from your amber poison
sauntering through my destitute soul

Author notes

Prompt:

I searched my soul seeking answers

Though I discovered none

I found you there

Siphoning off the poison

13 words only!

A contest entry

Please tell me how i did...

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Luminescence
    March 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice... I love the wording and the imagery that it puts in your head...

    Thank you so much for entering and participating in my contest and good luck,

    ~lumin


  • girl shaman
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i feel the first line could have been stronger in imagery but the rest held true to the prompt you had. i feel the last line was stronger than all of them. i really only had a suggestion for the first line but i dont feel it matters; either way this was a nice short piece! thank you for entering


  • Elenaliz
    February 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is perfect for the prompt.i like it

  • Sacrificial Wounds
    February 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So short, yet so powerful...
    This is amazing. The words you chose, add a certain element to this write. Good work.


  • Blooming Poet
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I thought iit was 13 words


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    !

    great!

  • Blooming Poet
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great take on the prompt, beautiful

1 - 13 of 13