tis a wound deep within the fouls mind
tis a swoon wrought deep with one's soul
is a lie thought deep and craved hard to be real
tis a unbearable seal on the hearts working wheel
tis a bleeding cut that refuses to heal
tis a sickness that you'll forever feel
tis a weakness that'll make you ill
tis a sin worse then a kill
tis what makes the poor beg for a meal
tis a life
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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it sounds like a sad life but I think it also shows the strength of the need and will to survive
'tis what makes the poor beg for a meal
tis a life'
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i liked it. 'tis' is one of my favorite words. it was a great poem.
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I think it's suspenseful and captivatin, in a medium-mild way, but i think its wrong. Nice job
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I really like these lines. I think they flow very well into each other, and hold a very interesting idea. Some of the lines were awkward (the first one, I thought was a bit weird...), but other than that I really like what you have done in this piece.
~~ Wonderful
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much agreed
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Nice. My favorite line was "tis a swoon wrought deep with one's soul". Great image! Also, good ending and rhyme flowed well. I think you should keep writing for sure!
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