I carved it with the sounds of history.
I pronounced,
so that you might hear me.
Dead dryads make only a noise,
a creaking yawn,
of a shift in poise.
Whenever you might,
speak but a breath;
your old dictionary,
thus you forget.
A language in mine,
name and face will sharply,
your silence,
quickly replace.
My echo,
my dear.
I buried your heart,
a mile from here.
I sowed your skin
and buds do show,
a solemn tree,
I planted so.
Author notes
Daphne was chased by a smitten Apollo, in an attempt to rid herself of the infatuted God, she prayed to the Rivers to be transformed into a Laurel tree; which sine then have become sacred to the God.
Though the story is not relevant to the poem itself, I wanted a little history to the poem. Obviously, I used the image of a tree.
A contest entry
- Nature's Canvas by Charity Ann.
450 points, ended February 13, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Absolutely brilliant in its display.
So fluid the diction here that captivates
with a single name.
No one part can be named as favored,
I felt the whole as a focused and elegant verse.
Blue
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I rather enjoyed this...Greek mythology has never been a strong point for me but I did enjoy this historical rendering. The notes were explanatory and well detailed. Bravo
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you already know what I think of this so down to the nitty gritty, creaking yawn, I love it! the rhyme is good and light handed, and there's a great sence of balance going on between the dead dryads at the beginning and the burying of the heart which by the way that last sestet I love!
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I love that line too about the heart being buried a mile from here. Reminds me of that Stephen King quote about the little boy's heart on the desk.
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Very interesting...and different from any other poem in the contest. I appreciated the author's note as well as my recollection of Greek Mythology is a bit rusty. The structure of your poem was quite nice. Also, the flow was nice and the rhyme worked well. The only think I didn't like was the red color...it was a little hard for me to read. Otherwise, a very nice entry...good luck!
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"I buried your heart,
a mile from here."
Love that line, the end of the poem is very striking! I take it this is somehow inspired from that book your reading? Like the little author comment thingy, its cool
xxxxxx
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