My eyes are caked with ashes and regret
I had almost grasped it
lost written words
lips nearly parted to speak forgotten rhymes
no sound
forever incommunicable
i thought i could have reached up
brushed clarity, dusty velvet skies
and breathed in incomparable awe of the universe
the wonder in self, in multiverse
in never-ending webs of unutterable possibilities
horrors
romances
perished
mortal
is the mind that once raced
romped
sang
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This is different from your other writes... I don't think I'll be able to explain it coherently, but I'm going to try. It almost seems like you had an invisible zipper that you zipped down, your soul stepped out of your body, and killed itself on paper, leaving a fragrant hopelessness that smells like lilacs and faint decay...
Your sadness sighs in each letter... A beautiful composition that cuts to the marrow. I understand this completely. I hope you don't feel this way too much. That'd make me sad.
< like that. Have a smile, Tad, love. 
I'd give ya a rose, but I forgot how to do those lol. Mucho amor, deary. *sends you muse juice so you can write me something >.<* lol. Toodles.
~Stephy
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brother, i think this is one of the best ive read of yours, the imagery you paint seems to me really 'thick' in a good way, like someone lathering cement onto bricks...
the flow is great, and this is just tip top all way
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You happen to be pretty much amazing.
"brushed clarity, dusty velvet skies
and breathed in incomparable awe of the universe"
Genius! wonderfully captivating
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this is pretty awsome love the ending and you depicted hopelessness quite well
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great write. keep up the good work hun
thank you for sharing this with us all.
BabyGirl -
wow, I really liked this, the whole thing.
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These lines had some beautiful descriptions within them. They are beautiful and the both hold deeper meaning. This is a very interesting read. You really have to think about it as you read it through...
Wonderful
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that was really good. i liked the "and breathed in incomparable awe of the universe" line.
*CHEERS*
Raye D.
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As I read the poem again, some questions arise:
what is it that inspired you, sir, to compose that poem? And how have you felt as you drafted and revised it if indeed you have done revisions, if necessary and why?
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At first glance this is intriguing; I am on it right now
The words reach out and seize at the eyes.
I like them... "dusty velvet skies" but also others.
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