Music was miscalculated,
as your toes tap-danced till
tranquility was extinct and
egotistical excellence was
flaired [failed].
Mutual loathing overcame
interactive irritation
and took a step further
to levels unimagined
by the perfect couple.
Tunes left the stage
as did lamenting,
I'm just waiting for you
to leave...
so that I can start
celebrating.
Author notes
Quote:
"You are the music while the music lasts."
- T. S. Eliot
I have read the rules.
Quote thamks to Helen
A contest entry
- Worthy of Gold by Virgoan.
900 points, ended April 17, 2008, 73 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Now you tell me:
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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LOL, I thought of my roommate. I'll be celebrating when I no longer room with him.
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You already know your talent leaves me in awe,
this is just one more example of that
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I feel like I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but this was yet another awesome piece!
I really liked this part:
"and took a step further
to levels unimagined
by the perfect couple."
And the last lines brought a little devious smile to my face
I love your sarcasm! 
I think I can also safely say that you're actually making me like alliteration! 
haha, another lovely one dear 
Jeanette*~
P.S. Love the background and quote
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That's a good reason why you should stop commenting now
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Awesome
Thanks for entering in my contest! This was straight forward and ...
I don't know much to say about this poem, it speaks for itself. Great write!
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excellent .. the kind of excellent that hits you with little blows until you realise how good it actually is.
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If you are the music, then you have been misjudged at every step in your life path. even you life's interpretive dance misinterpreted by so many.
It is easy to fear and loathe that which one has not understood and will never be understood so long as people don't ask questions. Communication is the pill to cure many a misunderstandings. and as so misunderstood it become easier to detest another when everyone seems to "get" them and "love" them. (the perfect couple).
The final verse sounds to me like we sometimes dance for ourselves, by ourselves, as we have only ourselves to love and entertain, celebrating out own life's blessings/successes when they come... even as we are deserted by those who refuse to at least try to open up and understand someone. Just think of the song "Beautiful" by Pink. or the song (i forget the artist and song title, it is "dancing with mysel"?) "If i had the chance, I'd ask the world to dance, so I'm dancing with myself" (I believe it is an 80's song)
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I think this is so great you deserve to celebrate.
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Thank you
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I really liked this. The layout was beautiful. The poem flowed really pretty and I loved your words. I don't really have much to say... I need to get off the comp. because I need to take some meds.
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Nicely Written...
This reminds of the song by Kate Bush - Experiment IV
Where the video potrays the music has been mis-calculated with a switch they can flick it.
Salute!!! -
Very nicely written...short and sweet.
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woah. Seems like a chick who dont want her lad... is this true? (my interpretation)
Nice Write
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Haha, more like a chick and the lad who is fed up with each other Not true personally though - or perhaps it is?
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i like it, another fantastic write, best of luck in the contest
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Gorgeous, but then I should have expected you'd do something amazing with that one. Your alliteration makes me smile like . Seriously impressive work hun.
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Party time!
This was great.
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I hardly ever bookmark. I mean never. So feel privileged.
=D -
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Oh, but I am ^^
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Fuck Me Senseless o.O
This is AMAZING...one of your best poems? Probably...
One of your best free verse? Definitely
I really am in awe at this, it had started to annoy me, all those tiny little poems you were writing (they are good I must admit, but you know I have an aversion to that kind of thing). This one came right out of the blue, usually you show me beforehand and whathaveyou, but no, not this time and I am so glad you didn't because I think just the initial impact was immense. Maybe you should stop showing me your poetry before you post!
Damn, your write for my contest best be at least half as good as this!!!
I love the alliteration AND the subtle rhyme of "waiting and celebrating" (so subtle I had to read through what celebrating actually rhymed with!)
Holy Smokes...awesome job
Loved it! x
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