The Warrior or Deschain
Walking with his long hooded robe
He walks toward the lake
Ferul examines the beautiful scene
With the luscious green trees swaying in the wind
The light blue waters with the little rippeles
Showing the reflection of the sun
Ferul looks up to the sky to find a surprise
The stars are visible
The sun shifts to a moon
The ground starts to rumble
From the water comes a dragon
It has a serpent like body
It's eyes glisten with silver
"To go on you must answer
to me"
"I will answer if I can"
Author notes
this is a series. this is no2
I'm going to continue:Please tell me what you thought of it
Comments
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thx i will take the advice into consideration
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its all right but the name ferul throws it off and the actions are to blunt and solid make them more graceful and let them roll for
example: From the water comes a dragon
It has a serpent like body
could be: a serpent shaped dragon comes from the water
and the dead end question at the end makes it just off beat to the rest of it -
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ok wat you said was, ok, true but like i said... u are harsh. Ferul could be a dif name.yea, and he could've said the serpent thing better.
"it has a serpent like body" sounds too sharp for this poem and urs eye (no offense) sounds a lil bit elementary school-ish. i mean very... simple.
That line could be
"From the water comes a dragon
With it's serpent like body
And eyes that glisten like/with silver"
like and with just depends on what ur going for shadeaura. or take out "that" and make it "glistening". and i like the ending. i should stop talking. this is like really long
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