He dictates his love in black and blue
an artist’s hand; such love he drew
a pallet of blows; he paints her face
flawless stitches — lines of lavender lace
Don’t you know how much I love you?
The back of his hand lays his lover’s kiss
a sight to make him reminisce
the countless times she ran away
the love impressed to make her stay
Don’t you know we are forever?
How can you leave me in the dark?
Blank queries meet her languid repose
confessions of love in writer’s prose
why won’t his salt washed hand
make his darling understand
Don’t you know you are my heart?
Don’t I show you every day?
Don’t you know how much I need you?
Why are you doing this to me?
Beseeching, her shattered likeness lies
a mirage of despair displayed in her eyes
if only his love had made her behave
but no, she just had to dig herself a grave
Author notes
Modern Sonnet. No formal meter, interrupted stanzas
Marty, GreenHrtPaleMoon option 4
In a list
A contest entry
- ~Abuse~And it's Effects~----I Hate the Games but Love the Player--- by Clinging-to-Life.
700 points, ended February 26, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Random Feelings by Harbinger of Death.
355 points, ended March 3, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - poems with impact by know one.
380 points, ended March 6, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - project poetry season one [prewrite & fresh auditions] by blackday.
600 points, ended March 27, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - all the prewrites you want by serenity silvermoon.
600 points, ended March 29, 2008, 150 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Choose Your Destiny... by Re-invention.
950 points, ended May 9, 2008, 56 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Open up and give me emotion by Velvet Rose Petals.
1150 points, ended September 21, 2008, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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This made me cringe
Congratulations on your trophy wins for this piece it is worthy of them and more
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So I am not quite sure what a Sonnet is, and surely I should if I am reading and reviewing poetry, but that is besides the point. I really loved your rhyme. Everything just fit together so beautifully. You painted me an image of such love for someone who does such horrible things to the one they love... Beautifully penned though
Rose
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Man, marty. I'm not ever listening to you again. This is supposed to be a bad rhyming poem? Hell, it's love and I like it - now that should tell you something
♥
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I loved this... The rhyme was beautiful and flowing.
Like I said to you before,
, I'm not sure about the interrupted parts. I see what you were trying to do here, but the questions were kind of... I dunno. I just didn't like them.
But it's won three shinies, so everyone else must love it, too.
Great work.
~Cassie
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brilliant... my god this write surprised me... indeed i loved it... please place your name and option in the author notes... thanks for entering!
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The old-old story.
"let me go, I won't stray far,
I liked the way you chose a canvas to paint her woe,
her like--ness
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Here's some flowers, baby, don't you know how much I love you? I'm so sorry, even though it was your fault...
eh, damned abuse... Such a vicious cycle, you captured it wonderfully. Great poem. Thank you for sharing your favorite with me, best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
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i love this poem it is so sad thanks for sharing god bless you foreve and always love dianna lee green also knowned as serenity lynn silvermoon
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Sorry...more than 10 lines!
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I have to tell you Marty, I'm hesitant to put a rhymer in my contest. It most definitely isn't anything against you, but I don't like rhyme as much, so I'm afraid of being biased or something or the sort.
This is a creative way to do the rhyme though. I read through a few of your other writes & I think you have some room to grow. Just work hard & listen to the constructive criticisms & such, okay? :]]
Here's your link into the group.
http://allpoetry.com/group/show/project%20poetry
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Survey
1. Marty, GreenHrtPaleMoon
2. 19
3. This site
4. Rhyme I guess
5. Free style?
6. Picture prompts
7. None
8. I've won some trophies on AP
9. I like to dance
10. None -
sad and powerful
How many times we hear about such things in the media, and those who have not been there normally cannot grasp the pain and the prison. I know a lady who went through hell, and this write from the heart reflects what I have been told. Nicely written
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I like how you set this up. With the rhyme stanza, and then the stanza that was sort of like thoughts. Because of that, the poem stands out among the others. I thought this was nice entry. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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wow
this is a REALLY good write.
extremely sad, but nice work! -
Hate the sin, but love the sinner. Poppycock! I was married for 25 years to a man who did all the above, and once wrote a poem, not here, called "Let Me Show You How Much I Love You!" Great in sight into the realm of an abuser. As for your format Your Darkened letters (The asides) make your point much deeper. Years of abuse cause brainwashing of the victim, if she is afraid to leave. That is exactly what he wants! For one so young, you are wiser than your years! Best wishes in this contest! You did a fine job!
Your "other " mom,
Shana
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Good!
This really flowed well together. I like how you bolded what the person was thinking.
I wish you luck! Thanks for entering. -
good job. interesting poem. i liked how you wrote on love. your the first love poem i read in the contest. best of luck!
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This is a very heartfelt and strongly written poem. Thank you for taking the time to enter my contest
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Really, really liked this piece. The mixed emotions, the beautiful wording, the perfect flow..... Amazing job. You gave me exactly what I asked for. You made me feel. Great job, thanks for entering, and good luck.
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arwsome
I love this poem
Unforutnitly I wouldet have called this a dark poem
if this wasent a dark poetry contest I would have added it to the finalists.If I ever have anyother contests please enter I love your poems!!!great write!! -
this was truly intense, gave me chill bumps. Never do we write about abuse from the side of the abuser. That definitely put a spin on it. Brilliant to say the least Congradulations on the gold. well deserved.
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Wow. This is a great write. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!
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interestng... the piece flowed like a tale you just couldn't close yourself from seeing... sad... good job.
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very nice write hun keep up the good work i really enjoyed this write alot. thank you for sharing this with us.
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Very beautiful, and choice of perspective is both sad and refreshing. Well done.
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wow... ive been in a similar situation and it totally sucks. powerful, poignant, emotional read... i loved it
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nothing like being beat up for love.... some people should just learn to walk away...
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It was fantastic.
Good luck in all of your contests! -
Great stuff. One of the best dark poems I've read in a while. The imagery was so perfect. Good luck in all those contests and welcome to AP!
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An excellent piece, I love how the verses alternate, very well written. Yep, works for me. Good luck in the contest.
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A contradictive piece...clever...
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This is beautiful...I hope none of this is a personal expereince, though that is what i asked for. I noticed you didnt put what i asked for in your authors notes. Please do so or your peice will be removed. I really liked this piece though, thank you for entering
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wow this is AMAZING omg i love the truth and passion
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