What's that tapping at my pane?
Could it be my love
Down below and throwing stones
Up to the glass above?
Could it be he's come to whisk
Me off into the night
To some sweet secluded spot
Where we will seal a plight?
Could it be that tapping sound
Is pebbles on my pane
Thrown by he who holds my heart
Or is this dream in vain?
Could it be another one
Who's needs are near to dire?
Could they use a faithful friend
With whom they can conspire?
The taps are quicker now. Perhaps
They're threatening despair.
Could it be they're filled with fear
As they await me there?
I rush to lift the window
But there - upon the pane -
A solemn crooked branch taps.
He will not tap in vain!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
bravo
Really, an excellent, superb poem! You are, indeed, a oner! I absolutley loved it! It reminded me of one of my fav poems "The Listeners" by dela Mare. bravo... bravo... bravo..
-
Yes, the return of the crooked tree! I love that theme! The repetition of "Could it be" is a useful touch. There are so many "could it be's" that I was getting impatient with wonder myself! Get out of bed and find out already! ^_^) Anyhow, this is a stupendous write. My only two concrits are in stanza 4. The double use of "need" sound off, maybe try replacing one with a syn. Next, "With which they can conspire" would sound better written as "With whom they can conspire". My ideas anywave. The ending line threw me off. I wasn't quite sure what it meant at first. Reading the poem again I figured that "will not tap in vain" shadows the fact that the narrator is going to escape out the window anyway. Yes? No? Well, anyhow, great job!
-
This was brilliantly written; I love the way in which it started off romantic and then turning to wonder and intrigue. Loved the last verse!! Excellent piece.
-
Outstanding
I liked how you used questions to engage the reader in this poem. The rhyme is fluid and reads well. You create a short story that is intriguing. I liked how the tapping turns out to be a tree. A great poem with a sense of atmosphere.
-
Good
This is a really nice poem with some wistful thoughts but I am a bit confused by the last line. Am I being thick?
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
