I step into yet another ready made life.
It is not my own life I live.
I step into the lives that other people dictate to me.
I walk in and pick up where the last woman left off.
I use their things, I sleep in their bed.
I help to raise their children.
I hardly even have my own identity anymore.
When I look in their mirror, their reflections
are like ghosts surrounding my face.
I cook in their kitchen, using their utensils.
I use their phones and I wash their things.
I live in the shadows of all that came before me...
A contest entry
- Something Different by Friday.
525 points, ended March 10, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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not bad
it starts off very promising and there is a lot to admire about this piece. the economy of language and the metre is on form. it tends to drift however, as if the next verse was not realised, and no 'conclusion' was reached. but the voice of the woman is 'loud' and true and again there is a clear truth here. -
Amazing
You have a tslent for saying things in such a beautiful way. I'm praying your thoughts and your life are getting to a better and happy place.
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That last line is a kicker and a half. Personally I think you shouldn't have used the word "life" in the second line since it was in the first but other than that this had an amazing feel. Thank you
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I love the premise/theme of this..it's very sad. I never really thought about it quite this way, very original idea.
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Oh. This is an interesting poem that you have written in here. I'm trying to figure out where the title comes into this but I guess there's something I don't understand in your poem. At first I thought it was about someone who is a nanny and was talking about what her life if like but I guess it's more metaphoric. And judging by the title I would guess that you feel sad. Lestways, that's what I think it's about.
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Thank you. The title sort of is metaphoric. I wish I could explain better. LOL This was just something i thought of while watching a friend of mine go through one woman after another. The new one stepped in and sort of took over where the last one left off. I thought to myself, hmm they have a ready made life going on there...
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Wow this is good, I like the idea behind it and how it was pieced together. Well done thanks for sharing.
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