Lesson Learned

It's nice to be able to write again.
There was a time recently that I couldn't do it.
I couldn't write.
I've been writing since I was seven years old,
And then I came to the point where I couldn't write.

It was him.
My fiance at the time.
I couldn't write because of him.
He killed all the creativity inside me.
Locked it away in a little room in my soul
Because he didn't like it.
Because he didn't like the songs I sang,
And he didn't like when I was gone at rehearsal.

He made those parts of me,
That have been the biggest parts of me
My entire life,
Go away.
He tried to kill them.
And with them went my writing.
My muse hid in a corner
Afraid of what he would do if he knew she was there.

But she's back now.
I let her out of her cage.
I sing again.
Constantly.
I'm getting back on stage as soon as I can.
And I'm writing.
All the time.
Everything.

It's finally back,
This most important part of me
That was left to die,
Is finally reviving itself.
It feels so nice.
So... Right.

And the people in my life now
They let me write.
Feed my inspiration instead of starving it.
Everything is better when I can write.
The sky is brighter,
The air is cleaner,
Love is... Possible!

I always told myself I would never change for anyone.
Apparently I lied.
I changed for him,
For "love."

And I killed myself in the process.

But I'm back now.
I can breathe again.
And write again,
Which, more often than not,
Are one in the same.

And I will Never change for anyone again.
I know this now.
Not for anyone or anything.
Not even love is worth losing yourself.

And now that I know this,
Have experienced it first hand,
It will never happen again.

This I vow,
Until the day I die,
I Will Sing.
I Will Act.
I Will be who I have always been,
And, even if it loses me what I think could be love,
By God,
I Will Write.