Well she was just forty-one,
had me on the run
and the way she looked
was the woman of my dreams
How could I make her all my own
when she was way beyond my means?
Oh I had to take a chance
to find a sweet romance
to find a way to
solve this mystery
How could I face another dawn
when she could end this agony?
When I had had enough
I got up off my duff
and I asked her out that night
but she replied, “We’ll see”
How could I fill these empty arms
when she declined to dance with me?
I’m not as strong as I thought
the quest has come to naught
Tomorrows come and go
today isn’t what it seems
How could I make her understand
to win this race it takes a team?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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How can we try to translate ...
God's plan with our lives? Perhaps she would have been bad for you, Leo, how can you say?
Everything given to us, AND not given to us, is planned by God, and one day we will understand his Divine Plan.
Peace to you, Friend, now and forever.
Love
Myra
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"Well she was just seventeen
- You know what I mean -
And the way she looked
Was way beyond compare.
So how could I dance with another (ooooh!)
When I saw her standing there?"
Your poem just shouted to me that you had been listening to early records by the Beatles! If not, never mind, because this is a good poem!
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Oh Leo,
I wondered where you had been.
Good to see you writing again. -
My Dear Leo,
YOU are stronger than you perceive. Keep after her..."we'll see" is Not an answer. LOL She has a better one waiting in the wings but you've have to persue... Great rhyme as usual.
Has anyone told you they Love you today?
I LOVE YOU!
Renee ♥
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Perhaps ...
When Shakespeare wanted to show the power of love to lift the spirit of one sunk in misery and surrounded by misfortune, he said:
"When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate …
Haply I think on thee, and then my state
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate."
joy
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Nice to see you posting again Leo!
Your poem talks about questions that to most of us are quite hard to answer. I hope you find yours
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This was certainly an interesting kind of piece, the rhyme was good and the storyline was well written too
Karen -
a nice write from your feelings of emotions i hope you become stronger to find what you need keep your pen flowing
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I like this poem very much. It's refreshing to read some rhyme.
The only thing that seems a bit off to me is the closing. The poem tells of an unrequited love, then closes with wanting to explain to her that getting through life takes a team.
To me, that line implies that you've already been together but she is no longer trying to make it work. Perhaps I'm not reading it correctly.
Nevertheless, this is very well done and I'm glad I clicked.
Leon
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I like this style, of course while I was reading, the Beatles were singing in the background (..."she was just seventeen....") good length, tells the tale, but I want to know what happens in part two!
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