Sometimes I live,
sometimes I die,
but most of the time
you’ll find that I cry
for wounds that bleed
which never heeds
to the wish that I could be whole.
Minutes of midnight’s slowly ticks by
my mind going crazy,
my thoughts beg to die,
my body burns from inside.
Demented the world of those that feel pain
daily, weekly, monthly the same.
Locked in by epochs of unchanging moans
I wish that my life were what I owned,
long ago when all was done
the way the Lord had want.
Vases of Valium and drugs just to sleep
becomes my ally when I get weak,
becomes my friend, my bud my chum...
without whom I’m fucked in the head.
Lucid moments, tormented pain
I’m blinded by darkness,
invaded by voices that all shouts the same:
Please dear Lord just heal this twinge
that’s taking from me the life I intend.
Author notes
I know this is probably far from what you wanted and not even written well. However, this is exactly what I feel right now and have been feeling for some time now. I had a Lumbar Fussion in 2000 and are now in terrible pain that just won't budge!! I sleep very little and feel like I'm loosing my mind...so yea, there you got it. In the moment...just how I feel!
A contest entry
- This is how I feel... by azlyn.
529 points, ended February 19, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Oh so real as I read the words I felt the pain weep from them I haven't seen you in so long I had no idea you were in this pain, how ever it has not affected you writing skills as this poem spoke loudly full of outstanding imagery each line tugged at my heart.
I so hope you will get to feeling better I will keep you in my prayers... Love your friend Ranea
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Wow,
I see I'm not alone in my darkest thoughts.
The imagery here speaks painfully clear.
I hope you find peace soon within your heart and soul.
Much love, Timothy
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I can relate to this...very closely! I seldom sleep and when I do it is not restful at all! This is a very vivid write...a sharing of feelings and emotions that touch the heart so intensely! I am truly sorry for your pain, it is a rough thing to live with, And I so understand the "fucked in the head"... thank you for sharing this honest moment with me...best of luck!
Az -
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Thank you kindly for your comment on my poem. I am glad you connected with it. Atarax & Stilnox...add some Valium and you might sleep 7 hours
haha. Just kidding. Anyway, thanks again.
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Emotions well spoken
It is not in the mechanics or measurs of verse that one finds the true meaning intended by those who would share thier pain, for it is of pain that you speak the never ending and sometimes seamingly crippling.
Let it not rule your mind for it is already enough that it wracks your body, learn that you are blessed to have this life to call your very own and in the end it truely is your life and noonbe else's to live.
I like it, I like it so!
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I feel this way sometimes too
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This is an amazing work and I'm sorry that you suffer from this. I will pray that the Lord will move in your life and do something about what ails you. If you ever need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to give me a shout. Take care and be blessed.
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a beautiful poem i can feel all the emotion and you have written it well, well done and i hope you keep up the good writing
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This is very powerful. Kinda freaked me out cos I had that 'sick and tired of being sick and tired' in my head today and then I read this
I'm sorry you are in so much pain Well expressed here.
Luv Lil
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Yea...well, its not so freaky to me. You know how the universe works haha.
Anyway, thank you for reading this, its been a while since I wrote anything and today was just that day. Hopefully it will all be over soon, just waiting for authorization from my medical aid to get a Facet Infiltration that would help alot. So might still be this week.
Again, thanks for connecting with my poem!
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I pray you get well soon and the authorisation goes ahead
Keep you in my prayers.
Lil
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