I was born
a bright new sun
as the universe swirled around me
you joined me in a dance
little did I know
the dance would take me
downward.....
you trapped me into your gravity
Like a black hole...gradually
you sucked the life slowly out of me
you thought you wanted to love me....
but the love you thought you knew
captured the light
and disappeared into the gravity
that was your confusion
slowly and infinitely
for the last 2 years...
my solar flame floundered for you
you cooled confused and falling
I fell and disappeared amidst your grasp
you are the dark hole..I fell into
and lost my light love and flame
and I finally died in your opened your hand
as you lost me forever
A contest entry
- Love and Hurt by xofightinirishx3.
495 points, ended May 20, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever..just make it good. [astonish me] by borrowing.moonlight.
1000 points, ended June 30, 2008, 160 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
User name is Ennigma
Comments
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that is absolutely beautiful!! and i love the background set to it, this is one flawless piece of work. wow im amazed! just one teensy little thing, please check the rules again i would like you to put your username in your AN for such an occasion as this where i might want to add you. if you are uncomfortable with this, please at least let me know because it was in the rules.
thank you so much for entering! i will put this in the finalists and let me know if you edit it, but if i check again and you have not corrected what i put in the rules then sadly i will have to DQ you which would be a shame because i can potentially see this piece winning something. just keep that in mind, i'm not trying to gripe at you. this is just your reminder. well very wonderful piece and thank you again.
good luck in the contest!
-
celestial
I like it...good flow up until lines 16 and 17.
Maybe that's an intended paradox...
*backs away slowly*
sorry!
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