A breath,
A vision,
A moment, a beat.
One second of serenity.
I see, I feel.
I burn.
Passion consumes me.
I feel the beat in between the whispers of tranquility.
I am floating,
On solid ground.
I can not see you,
I can not comprehend you.
I feel you.
Now as I burn,
I see.
Gripping me,
Encompassing me.
I SEE YOU.
"You are the pulse of my heart,"
Tomorrow whispers silently.
A contest entry
- Image Inspired J by HeavenScent4U.
300 points, ended February 14, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From February 2008 by amaranthine lover.
3150 points, ended March 28, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Just tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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the simplicity really makes this piece work as do the line breaks/text alignment. of course the words speak for themselves as well
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Tomorrow may whisper but this piece screams perfection, bravo
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I like this, says very little which means a lot in actuality
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very good
this poem is very good! its right to the point and its beautifuly writen! it reminds me somewhat of a book i read: The Burn Journals. but nice work keep it up!
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hell yea
these words are beautiful. nicely written. -
wonderful piece, very well written.
I love the title (and subsequently the last line)
very poetic!
Cheers,
S -
i love this line,I feel the beat in between the whispers of tranquility.overall the whole thing is alright.didint really move me
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i really love the emotion in this write you have done an amazing job here hun thank you for sharing this with us all.
s
BabyGirl -
I really liked the emotion in this, very nicely done Sadly though the rules stated no more than 10 lines
Thanks for entering and good luck. be well and be blessed
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