The doors opened to show an old lady, an odd sort of twinkle in her eye.
I stepped aside to give her room, so she could pass on by.
She smiled and I said,"Good morning", as she headed on her way.
Then I stepped into the elevator, a decision I still regret today.
I saw this dear old lady, like an elderly Queen of Hearts,
but as the doors began to close I found she was really the King of Farts.
She must have held it 70 years, since at least the age of five.
The smell just wouldn't dissipate, as if it were alive.
BUTT my problems had only just started, one floor up they would get worse.
Ten more people, sadly, had joined me; as the doors closed I heard someone curse.
Some looked like they were crying while the other's held their breath,
and all of us thought,"I'm trapped in this little box of death!!"
To make matters worse, whenever those people saw me at the elevator,
they would walk on past, and with a smirk, each time said,"Smell ya later!"
That little old lady must be gone by now, but that day and that smell seem to linger.
The people who shared the gas chamber that day, still point at me with an accusing finger.
Author notes
What makes this poem especially funny is that it actually happened to me, back when I lived in Boston.
Written November 21st, 2002
In a list
A contest entry
- What a Riot by Leftfield.
300 points, ended December 23, 2003, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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haha...I do enjoy a good fart poem. The rhyming seemed unforced (insert fart joke) and the flow was excellent (insert another fart joke). A lovely poem with the air of a witty genius (insert final fart joke)
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This was very creative and amusing to that poor little kid I hope it wasnt you! ha,ha,ha lol I enjoyed reading this one
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ahh the humor of fart stink.........lives on
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Innocent
I feel childish for enjoying a fart joke that much, but it was really fantastic. Thanks for the entry. -
It's nice to have a sense of humor, but my 1st emotion in that elevator was disgust, which was quickly followed by embarrassment, with those other people thinking it was me. The humor part didn't come till days later, even now I still think it's funny as Hell. Thanks for the comments.
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Someone once told me that anyone who doesn't laugh at farts has no sense of humor but they were probably never stuck in an elevator with one.
That's the problem with farts, especially the SBDers (silent but deadly) no one knows who left it, they just know that it wasn't the little old lady.
This had me laughing out loud, which I rarely do. Enjoyed.
Desiree -
Next time, take the stairs. LOL
This piece really stinks. (translation-Wickedly funny)
Thanx for the laugh.
Smell ya later. lol
Rodney -
WOW!! I thought my story was good, but your "POOPY" story kills mine. There was another contest that asked to pick a poem and write a poem about it. Your story surely has the right "ingredients" to make for an interesting poem.
Edited on Nov 23, 10:09 because ''. -
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! I was laughing at the end of that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So damn funny!!!!!!! I think I'll be giggling about this one for quite a while......anyway....this is brilliantly done.....makes me think of all the farts I've been trapped with....like the one in our english classroom...the culprit sitting two seats along from me! It was almost a national emergency, even the teacher looked faint.......i've just realised I've brain farted for a bit.....oh well, keep the funny shit coming.
xxx mistry xxx -
Heeeeeeeheeeee!!!! HaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Smeg thats bloody hilarious! Hehehehehe. I shall still be laughing a long time from now. Phew that fart must have been stinky. Heheh.
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i am on the freaking floor! loved it, really! that is so funny,ok, ok, once i was in an elevator, and this little kid walked in that was like two, and he pulled down his pants and took a crap on the floor, then got off in the next floor! everyone got in and looked at me funny, and this old woman picked it up and out it in her purse! omg, i am serious! man, tha t was classic! haha..oh yeah.good poem, lol.
xoxo
Mandy SUe.aka.....Secret Sue -
You should try your hand at a kid's book!
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I'm glad I made your day Ann, sometimes we just have to laugh.
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R O F L M A O ! ! ! !
Oh i can just imagine this happening,
and to since be held to blame for it too...
he he he....thanks for the smiles..
rushes off to find a peg for my nose
Ann -
hahaha! funny and so very very nasty! found myself holding my breath whilst reading.
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