Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

`~Butterfly Dreams`~


    butterfly dreams float in minds
  sometimes i wonder where they sometimes fly
    if i saw 1 it would be mine
  i love how they float gracefully in air
    the way thier wings sway in just the right time

      flying beside all the wonderful birds
  they rest on flowers that sway to the rythm of wind
        being able to see things unamaginable  to human eyes

Author notes

im the suckiest poetry writer on the face of the earth!!!!

honestly , do i suck????

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • ultimate beluga
    February 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love butterflies...
    no i wouldnt say you suck at all based on this, like backtoeden said, it was a little off-rhythm, but it was interesting and poetic, and the last line was great. fix the spelling errors and change the 1 to 'one', and this would be reeeally good!


  • backtoeden
    February 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i'd say you're doing pretty good! a little off on the rythm, but still good. what i do is read the poem in my head over and over, to feel the flow of my poem. if in your gut something doesn't feel right, i change the line a bit to make it smooth.....there ya go!


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    February 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry

    This piece has some promise, just a few spelling errors and not really a fan of putting 1 in the middle of a good piece but the emotion and imagery was there, good job

    We hope you enjoy your time here at All Poetry

    If you need anything don't be afraid to ask anyone from our friendly greeter team.

    Don't forget the best way to get comments on your poetry is to read and comment on others

    Karen
    Site Greeter


  • TexasMomma
    February 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice short poem.....I like it! butterflies are beautiful!