Psychosis reveres
trite indignation
as conjured bliss
rectifies truth’s affirmation
of ill fitted bands.
Survival is picturesque.
Author notes
Prompt:
‘You’ll never have my forever
In jars and broken pieces’ :: Heather ::
In a list
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Wonderful
Great description for meaning of a crutch. So perfectly done.
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Very profound for such a short verse. I love the flow; impressive.
Love,
Amera
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"rectifies truth's affirmation / of ill fitted bands." ~ Very intense... For me, I sense a lot of heavy emotion in this and also a desperation. Perhaps I am getting the wrong feel, but as a reader, that is what came out. The ending was unique... almost like explaining how survival is to a human. Vivid and prominent. Great poem, Enchantress.
M a r l u x i a
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bliss and psychosis, always a great mixture i think, throw in some screams of determination and you have it made, a good poem.
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Wow!!
Now when I inhaled this one I kept seeing...
Remember... I AM Legend~
the images just came in waves and I felt
Empowered~ but also felt the need to just
peek over my shoulder every now and then
Magnificent write!!
Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice~
Many blessings to You in all You do Gypsy
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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I dont quite understand this
I want to leave a comment though but I dont quite get this one
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No worries Happens all the time
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well this one was really agood put to have wrote this one. thanks for shareing it hope you will have a great night
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wow tam, you said so much in so few words! me, i'm lng winded, as you know!
keep on writing, i'll keep on reading!
mike
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Lovely. Love the ending. Personally I'd put a comma after indignation too, but I think it makes perfect sense without it and doesn't need it. Great response to an interesting prompt. Awesome.
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Beautifully done, dear. I suppose every mind takes this poem into a different direction...my mind went to Heath Ledger and the all too common “quick fix” of prescription drugs...and the unavoidable outcome to walking with that crutch…go figure.
Nice work.
Marianne
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What an ending - [completely irrelevant but how beautiful does 'picturesque' look when written - almost a ray of sun within moon light].
Anyway,
this has slight intrigue within the phrasing - opened up a new sense of beauty. Would love to have seen more punctuation to guide the mind where the flow is concerned but I think thats just me obsessing.
Thanks for entering,
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Thank you It was fun to write for. I'm not sure where you would expect punctuation on this one. To be honest it it one sentence (per my grammar check) and then another. But any input would be appreciated because I could be wrong there
I'm sorry you didn't find the ending relevant. But of course we do not all see what each poet writes as they do. Thats a fact and one thing I do love about poetry Have a wonderful day
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No, the ending was, I meant my comment on poem was irrelevant. The phrase was relevant and captivating
I am over-punctuated
So, it's probably just me with added to guide minds.
I think just a comma after 'indignation'.
I probably would add more but it would seem over-done. Probably would with my extra comma cause the more I read it, the more sense the flow has - I think that is because I am used to it now after reading it more times.
Sorry.
Maybe set out more like a sentence would have been better.
But either way - I think it's the line breaks when not needed just iffy me without punctuation.
lol - is that a long explanation or what [I didn't re-read so it may not make sense.]
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Nice vocab.
This is munchable.
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Beautifully done.
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