Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

See What?

I can't see anything!
What are you talking about?

Smudged,
    stained,
        scratched,
glass turning this way and that,
looking at the shadows of time,
but what should I find there?

There's nothing else there!
I'm telling you, there's nothing else!

Distorted,
        hazy,
          fog-like,
but as the clouded glass turns,
the answer is clearer than the tears...



....shed in joy at the sight.

For though the glass is damaged and broken,
all I can see as I look through,
is you.

Author notes

Well, it's not that great, I admit, but it's all for my girl, Cassie.

A contest entry

...

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • lovemedeath
    April 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i liked it!!!!


  • The White Rabbit
    February 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really liked this twist. alot of people in the contest seemed to take the whole "chaning myself as I go through the mirror" kinda idea. You know, being a better person on the other side. I liked your idea because its more original, and how very cute that on the other side, on this diffrent world that should be better and amaizng, is just a person who means so much to you. very romantic, good luck in the contest!! with love and giggles, the white rabbit


  • Little Blue Bird
    February 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Pretty cool

    Nice imagery. Good descriptions, I like how this is saying, in a round about way, that no matter how much she thinks she doesn't look good you don't see her that way. Good job on this one, Bro.


  • And Hyetal
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    A Perfect 5

    Imagery: 1 point
    Theme: 1 point
    Use of Form/Flow: 1 point
    Other criteria: 1 point
    Overall Appeal: 1 point

    Well, someone's trying to copy my writing style...

    This is a defininate improvement on your last write, and as I get harder on the judging, you always seem to manage a way to scrape by.

    This write is almost perfect, just keep working on your word choice, punctuation, and line breaks. There are a few points where it gets a little choppy.

    5 more points for Team Ballader!

    ~Cassie

  • star wars fanatic
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm freakin' sick of you bashing your work! This is really good! The message is clear and it's sweet that she helps you through your times of turmoil and confusion. Great write--darn it!

1 - 5 of 5