blur out those lights
with your chemicals
and your lies.
you took three petals;
all yellow and straight.
those petals you took,
you crumpled,
you destroyed.
take a good look.once more.
examine the faded color,
limp veins,
lifeless feel.
another night with the lights blurred;
does it help you forget what the pedal looks like?
water it with your pseudo affirmation
over-thought excuses,
dead apologies.
is this what you wanted,
because this is what you made.
place the petals carefully under your foot
.step.
and walk on.
understandable?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Yes it is understandable andI like the format I can picture what you are saying. You used great imagery with your words. Nice Job
-
Fantastic, powerful, yet gentle.
Ladame
xx
-
This is so strong. This is a wonderful write. I really like it, I haven't read any poems like this before.
Amazingly beautiful.
My favorite part is:
"take a good look.once more.
examine the faded color,
limp veins,
lifeless feel."
Excellent.
-
SUCH HURT
SO WELL EXPRESSED. THE sad saga of self destruction. heart-sick with anger for the wasted life... walking on ... YES! -
this is deep! i'm gonna read this a couple more times to fully understand it.
-
Many take step without a thought of what they are walking in. This is an interesting piece. Flows is good and I am glad I stopped in to read you. Blessings. Debby
-
I will.
I am going to have to read this one again. There is a deep message here, I think that I know some of what you are saying. To your credit you have intrigued me. I think this is a strong statement about making the wrong choices. -
It is understandable if you meant 'petals' like on a flower rather than 'pedals' like on a bicycle.
Having said that, the rhythm and meter are very good and the imagery excellent.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
