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The Sun (Suffocating in Darkness)

Missing image

 

Breath of space licks clean,
runs vacant tongues
over fat volcanic belly.  

She swells,
splurges into darkness
Casts suffering upon eager flesh

Spits fire into choking void,
punctuated with glimmers
ever out of reach.

Glares through millenia
futilely awaiting fabled chariot
to lay her to moon-lit rest.

Author notes

Does what it says on the tin.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • dont think twice
    February 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    bravo

    "moon-lit rest" is a fantastic phrase.

  • Virgoan silver member
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I miss your poems my friend and having acquainted with you again because of this poem makes me happy.

    I like the first two stanza so much and the last stanza may even be removed if wanted...your call.
    In my opinion, the last stanza is not as strong as the rest.

    Always a pleasure to read a work from you. Keep writing

    HENSLEY a.k.a VIRGOAN


    • Faded silver member
      March 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I took out the last stanza- I hadn't realised how beautifully it worked without. Thanks for the advice.


  • Abby Eyeball
    February 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    amazing amazing

    whew
    i scampered around
    and felt incredible
    and what this i had found ;D

  • Zyskandar A Jaimot
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ah were you really writing/speaking of the SUN? very alluring using metaphors to glisten so seductively - always out of reach ALL-IN-ALL a very inventive if not suntan lotion needed write to protect us all from the burn thanks for sharing regards zaj

1 - 6 of 6