Immortal punishment
that seeps below façade of rainbow town,
leeching colours to noir symbiosis,
like stale twilight merging of night and day.
Feathered scar runs deep,
a seething whisper of guilty echoes
writhing in rapture within personal
cocoon of reflection,
and its strength ambles with failure,
Siamese twins like victim and murderer
co-joined in pistol accords.
As blessed as the fragrant dread
rendered like grime encrusted walls,
craving birth of another forgotten spirit.
Snuffing any faint reprieve,
before mercy can bestow salvation.
Subfusc pallor requires the crutch
of hallowed ground tainted
with virgins empty life,
purity stained in purgatory.
Author notes
Words Used;
blessed, immortal, punishment, rainbow, mercy, crave,
rapture, strength, reflection, crutch, whisper, bestow,
render, seething, stale, fragrant, feathered, scar, deep
grime, amble, faint, cocoon, hallow, dread, failure
Fug-azi
A contest entry
- The Darkwrite Challenge FINAL round by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
600 points, ended February 22, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Part I of Friday's 5 Part Series by Exodus.
525 points, ended February 27, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold-tastic [prewrite contest!] by Tangled Angle.
525 points, ended February 29, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Free Verse by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended March 5, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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wow, such powerful words
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Congratulations for placing 4th out of 100 entries.
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Very strong poem. The ending was great, loved the alliteration. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
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Simply and absolutely stunning. Your use of language is just amazing, and I wouldn't have ever guessed there was a wordbank if it wasn't in your authors notes. Thank you
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Thank you, I am quite proud of this one
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A great piece, strong and rich with imagery, good luck
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This is one of the best pieces I have read. I really enjoyed this one. Like most that have read this, I agree that your write is about the Salem Witch Trials...BRAVO! I grew up fascinated by them and have been to Salem once. I hope to return soon, seeing as I only live a couple hours drive from there.
Back to your write...Fantastic!
Best of luck to you.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
having 'dated' [archaic word from the 50's-early60's one of the resident witches of SALEM MA.] i enjoyed this cause/effect of puritanical purgatory was interested that you did not have to use the word 'witch' ti set the scene of so many gruesome travesties SUBFUSC?[the normal drab dusky 'dress' at places like OXFORD or maybe even HARVARD/YALE founded by early religionists] was a nice touch first and last linews worked extremely well thanks for sharing regards zaj
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Wow Fug, I do believe this is one of your best. A true masterpiece by a brilliant poet. I'm bookmarking this baby!! Awesome job my dear friend. Love, Cathy
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Well done! You used the boundaries for this write as breakout and very well if I may say so. The topic is one that will haunt us. It is astounding what we humans will do, what lengths we will go to . . . and for what, really? Guess we should ask ourselves this questions before jumping the gun on anything and be strict with it. Only a few stood up against this and though they paid dearly, they are brave and the kind I want in my court. Thank you for sharing and reminding . . . lest we forget. Best to you in the contest.--Kel
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this is amazing i love it!
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Fantastic are your words etched in such wonderful detail.
A brilliant word bank and you created such a masterpiece.
For me Salem is "goodbye" and that is why I was drawn to this poem. So glad I did
Best wishes to you
Julie
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Bravo!! Standing in applause!
Wow. Had me a date with Webster, but oh my. You really have used the words well in this piece. What a tough word bank. One that taught me a few new ones.
"As blessed as the fragrant dread
rendered like grime encrusted walls,
craving birth of another forgotten spirit."
These lines are brilliant. I literally squirmed in my seat waiting for what comes next. So good. So very very good.
Wonderful imagery. So dark. Your last line is stellar. Really laces this piece up nicely.
All in all I would say you nailed it. Superb verse. Thank you for sharing it with me. Now, I've just got to go and find something that smells like roses and bubbles like champagne.
Truly wonderful my friend. ~Pamela 
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Quite a use of words here! I clicked on this because I grew up in a town called Salem. I'm glad I did. Nice work!
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wow
honesty...ha...fucking amazing..i assume you are writing about the salem witch trials..the imagery is phenomenol..and to pull a subject out of thin air..pertaining to that wordbank is awesome..you totally covered the salem tragedy...
As blessed as the fragrant dread
rendered like grime encrusted walls,
craving birth of another forgotten spirit.
Snuffing any faint reprieve,
before mercy can bestow salvation.
like this..i take it you are referring to the fact that they wouldn't confess..and there was no mercy..and the sickness just kept coming..sickness begets sickness..
Subfusc pallor requires the crutch
of hallowed ground tainted
with virgins empty life,
purity stained in purgatory.
another awesomely penned..hehe..verse..and the ending..god..BLEW ME AWAY....smells like gold to me..
and that my friend is my HONEST OPINION....thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest..hugs a bunch..
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wow uncle your words hold so much depth and darkness in your words. the ending has a beautiful alliteration and your words flow with a stunning affect.well done uncle
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Firstly - title? Not sure completely on that. Does reflect or compliment the poem at all.
Love the ending - the sly alliteration works well and the flow simple but stunning. You worked the word bank well. I like it.
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