Psychotic Break : this is a layman's term used to describe the last "dissociation" experience characteristic psychosis.
I.
On a bad day
spring is sarcastic.
Deceptive bird song
calls to squabble
cantankerous reptiles,
Harlot flowers flaunt
themselves to entice
hungry bees,
Color is too colored
where sunshine alights,
primary and violent.
II.
Heedless of warning
perceptions, suddenly
pterodactyloid shadows
stoop from a sky cracked
by twenty decibel
lightning boulders
hurled at my feet.
I stumble and fall
into twinkling clouds.
Sheet metal voices
screech. Gum in my
ears can't hush them.
Cyclic dissociation has begun.
Globs of brain stuck to
the ceiling of my skull
warn: other people are dangerous,
before dripping down my spinal column.
III.
These spotlight sounds are real?
they ask how I feel...
by name. Mine?
I cringe-grin my
ambivalence to respond.
Through teeth bloodied
with overchewed gristle
mantras for survival
my closed mouth smile
assures serenely that
all is beautiful
on this fine spring day.
look at me;
can't you see.
do you see the joke?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Powerful write. the conflicting descriptives truly grab one's attention: sunny day/lightning/boulders
the veneer of serenity/the internal distress and suspicion.
The intensity of the situation is so well set up in the first verse; it immediately grabs the reader's attention
The last verse speaks volumes. This is indeed a desperate person holding on as best they can.
I like the style, the format and the way these lines unfold.
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I shall always be greatful for your comments on my poem. You are the first person who ever understood what I am trying to convey. It's tough to rip such strong emotions from one's gut, try to experss them in images and poetic language only to relize no one gets it. Your attention as to my method of endevor is also much appreciated. You are clearly a sensitive and perceptive man, which is what is hoped for in a poet. I have read your poetry and shall try to match your high standards of review and hope my comments are as usefuel to you as yours are to me.
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This feels much like the inside of my head.
I am really liking your writing.
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wow great use of vocabulary!
and how r u? -
oh, look your poems over for spelling errors.
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in "color is to colored" did you mean "too"?
pretty intense imagery: "pterodactyloid shadows", "twenty decibel lightning boulders", "sheet metal voices". cool.
this strikes me as being about a sense of dissatisfaction with the aging process. the autumn of life clashing with earthly spring. how to deal with nature's spring when our own autumn crushes down upon us? oi!
you might enjoy Tennyson's poem "The Two Voices-
your right on to, too,too.
Good guess on meaning, you must have paid attention to my age. Actually it's a description of what it is like to have a psycotic brake (go nuts). This kind of insanity always happens before one is 30, I was 24 and not likely to forget. The point is that being young and beauitful, no one can see what is going on. They get as lost in your looks as they do in the beauity of a spring day. Your rigt on choppy I'm studing how to correct that. Thanks
GGGGREAT (said lk tony the tiger!) hahaha i love it, and cnt wait for spring break lol1 - 8 of 8
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