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shining inside-out

 

 

 

 

 

the wind is a shadow
of substance, its gravity
a weight of consequence
less meaning.
 
my centre is that moon,
my flesh a shifting tide
beneath her light-
it runs across this forest
floor, blending patches
of now with then.
 
there are answers
that shine
and others lost to murk:
 
but only one question.
 
perhaps, if my fingers
can count to one hundred and eight,
a Mantra will come
and enlighten me.
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • J.J. Sass
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ah! After looking at the contest description I now understand the '108' reference lol.


  • J.J. Sass
    February 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the elemental tone of this piece. It is soft and beautiful.

    Best wishes in the contest,
    Stacy


  • Nicolette gold member
    February 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So good to see something new from your pen, Kate - where've you been?!! This is beautiful poetry and so very moving and I liked the wind and moon elements you've weaved into this one - and yes, of course, the voice here.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Night Hope gold member
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "my centre is that moon,
    my flesh a shifting tide
    beneath her light-"

    Hmmm...critical honesty appreciated, ehhh??? Ok. You write far too well considering your youth & I thoroughly detest you for it. LMAO Ok, so that was an elaborate deception. Well, Hell's Bells, Woman. GIVE us somethin' to critique, then maybe we will. Good luck in Zayra's contest, Sweetie. Wanda

  • Suzanne Dia
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    What is the importance of 108? Am I being dense?

    I love your description of the wind, just this morning I referred to it as indifferent. You wrote it much more beautifully than I did.

    Shining ..anywhere, is always a good start.




  • Perfiction
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'my flesh a shifting tide
    beneath her light-'


    Sigh - you are so much more than I can explain.

1 - 6 of 6