Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

christmas lunch - 2007

 

 

 

 

 
she wraps her whispers
carefully-
pens each card for those
she loves most.
 
paper lips tighten around her gifts,
fold each mute
between the loud creases
of consequences to come.
 
each is measured
by the precise angles
of others and silence,
 
by their refusals;

unable to understand

unseen things.

 

so she tethers it all with unspoken
string,
pushes her fingers up and out,

tells them to open only
as they are ready.
 

 

 
she fears it will take
another incredible crisis
to free them ...
 
and then,
and then they will stumble,
paint her soul a different
shade of white
 
so bright,
that everything bleeds
into everything else,
 
everyone into nothing
and herself into ...
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • just rob gold member
    February 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well done!

    I vibrate so much to this one that the abstraction was nearly lost to me. I really like it when something full of image and metaphor reverberates so much that it reads "literal"

    Suffice to say, at gatherings, I'm the "other" one.

    Excellent!


  • Night Hope gold member
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "paper lips tighten around her gifts,
    fold each mute
    between the loud creases
    of consequences to come."

    Ahhh, family. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. I only have 2 left to my name; they both like to try to tell me what to do, how to live, what to think, etc. Forget the fact that I've supported myself & one of my brothers since I was 15 or 16. Geez, I musta done somethin' right along the way. You just keep bein' you, my Friend. As the saying goes, "The ones who matter don't mind & the ones who mind don't matter." I know, easier said than done. We all need acceptance from our blood. When they don't/won't/can't give it to us, it pains us, I know. One day, they'll figure it out. Until then, you just keep on keepin' on. Good luck in Rob's contest, Sweetie. Damn, the stakes are gettin' higher all the time. I don't envy Rob at all. Wanda


  • Fug-azi
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Where have you been hiding ... its been a while since i've seen anything from you, but you have lost nothing. There are very few poets who can wrap so much into the words they put upon the page .. you are one.

    The sustained metaphor throughout the poem is a gem .. please don't leave it so long before you post again.


  • Naridill
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    I see this forming with relatives and friends of my sister. It's a hard struggle, those you see through out, you know they will be there for life.

    I hope everything is alright in your world lately.
    Miss you.

  • Suzanne Dia
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    I have a poem called 'family ruin' about the fact I never even get invited to the reunions anymore. It's kind of hard not to take it personally, when I know they all 'pray' for me and my confused and wicked soul..

    The holidays are rough. I do hope you will not let those gifts stay mute for too long. The voice that offers them is genuine and shouldn't be stifled..





  • Rowan gold member
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "so she tethers it all with unspoken
    string,
    pushes her fingers up and out,

    tells them to open only
    as they are ready'

    I loved that stanza. I find family gatherings so trying-
    especially well-meaning relatives that don't have a clue
    what they are saying but pretend they know exactly what everyone else needs. I like the open ending as well, like a convergence of nothingness. Excellent write, kate.

1 - 6 of 6