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How Can I Love You My Lovely Princess? (Remix)

How can I love you
You hate me already
I want you to say "I Love You Too"
But you can never love me
If I call you, would we have romance
If I give you a rose, would you marry me
If I say sorry, would you give me a chance
If I said I didn't love you anymore, would you disagree
Please don't cry my princess
To let my lovely princess cry will surely break my heart
Please don't be heartless
For being heartless, will somehow break my heart apart
Keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe me, hold on to me and never let me go
Stop breathing if I see you with a paramour
But if you're not with one, then I will give you Cupid's bow
Kill me if you see me with a lover
If you want, you can even let go
But you  will, next time, discover
My redeeming love for you that I will bestow
My Lovely Princess

A contest entry

I'm a first time poem-maker, so answer honestly...is it good?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    February 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ~~~ Thank you very much for entering this beautiful poem… ~~~

    My heart goes out to you in this time of love and romance where you feel so desperate for love.

    ~~~ Good luck in the contest and hope you enter again ~~~
    Becks


  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Please re-read my rules


  • JinSays gold member
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sweet little write..thanks for entering my contest..Jin


  • Temptation.
    February 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    did i give you a prompt???


  • Frozentearz
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This contest is a word bank.
    the words to be used were.


    victorious, virtue, valentine, voluptious, veto, voracious, virile, vacation,
    validity, vast..


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry in our contest, a poem with good rhyme, the rhythm could maybe do with looking at, but we feel it might make a better song.

    Good luck in the contest....

    Sue and Jeff


  • Melodies
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A poem that flows with emotional imagery that befits the subject of love. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem with us!


  • Frogzter gold member
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An interesting piece, but you used none of the words given in the bank. I think maybe you meant this for a different contest! Sorry will have to DQ it. Thanks for taking the time to enter, but it does not follow the contest rules at all.

    Frogz~

1 - 8 of 8