Mon amour
Ma couer sont dans tes mains
je n'oublierai jamais, les mots que tu a parle
j'ecris dans francais, le langue d’amour, pour toi
Parce que,
tu es le garcon qui m'a aide
Quand j'ai tombe dans le clair
Touts les minutes de la jour
Je pense, que tu es parfait
Merci, Merci, Merci
Avec tu, je suis complete
Je suis contente, amoreuse
Avec toi
Ma vie est le meilleure qu'il peux etre
My Love,
My heart is in your hands,
I will never forget, the words you have said
I write in French, the language of love, for you
Because,
You are the man who saved me
When I fell into the light
All the minutes of the day
I think, that you are perfect
Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou
With you I am complete
I am happy, a woman in love
With you
My life is the best it can be
Author notes
Dedicated to the one man I've been able to trust unconditionally.
option 3 - Please excuse the little grammar and spelling mistakes in French, I dont have my dictionary at the moment and my written french is not as good as my spoken
lostangel07
A contest entry
- Poème Français by Truth-in-Chaos.
450 points, ended March 6, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES! ROUNDS CONTEST!!! by Luminescence.
525 points, ended March 23, 2008, 176 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I am going to be quick commenting on the rest of the pieces because of the abundance of entries in my contest and it would take too long to judge this contest if I didn’t, so here is your score….
Title- 10
diction- 10
syntax- 10
wowness factor-10
Total-40.. This was such a good poem... who cares about some of the grammer mistakes... I love how you explained yourself for writing in french.... and your title was cool
Thank you so much for entering and participating in my contest and good luck,
~luminescence
-
Tres bon
C'est parfait! J'aime beaucoup. bonne chance en le concours. La poeme est tres bon. -
Tres bon. J'adore sa poesie... c'est tres jolie et interessant. Il est court, mais il a la pouvoir aussi. Pour un critique, le grammar sont... un peu bizarre. Quand tu a dit,
"J'noublie pas, les mots ton parle
J'ecrie dans francais, le langue d'amour, pour toi
Parce que,
Tu es le garcon qui assiste moi
Quand je tombe dans le clair", j'ai vu que quelque phrases sont bizarres...
par example: "j'noublie pas, les mots ton parle" (en anglais, dois etre "i will never forget the words you have said.") Pour la, tu dois dit: "je n'oublierai jamais, les mots que tu a parle." Le tense future est imperatif avec un 'ai' a la fin, et "ton" n'est pas un sujet.
"J'ecrie" dois etre "j'ecris".
"tu es le garcon qui assiste moi" dois etre "tu es le garcon qui m'a aide" (passe compose, et un mot qui est... meilleur.)
"Quan je tombe dans le clair" dois etre passe aussi, parce-qu'il ne peux pas etre "When I fall into the light". Il dois etre "Quand j'ai tombe dans le clair.", ou "when i fell into the light."
"Tout les minutes de la journess" a les petits erreurs, comme "tout" dois devenir "toutes", et "la journess" dois devenir "la jour".
Finallement, "Ma vie c'est le meilleure cest etre" dois avoir un pronom relatif... comme "que". Il dois devenir "Ma vie est le meilleure qu'il peux etre" (My life is the best that it can be).
Si vous avez besoin d'un translation, me dit, s'il vous plait.
[if you need a translation, tell me please.]
Lizzy
-
Very sweet, tres douce ca, j'aime beaucoup
Oh, this is so very nice. Glad to have met you, and read this. It is very jolie
-
this is brilliant. wonderful wording and the french almost leads you by the hand so that you can almost guess what you are saying.
well done and very best of luck xxx
-
Wow, I was so scared you were not going to have a translation below this and I was about to have a mild stroke LOL....
This is one of the most beautiful pieces I have read in a long time... the language was beautiful and the sentiment showed that heart of yours to perfection... bravo hun, straight into the bookmarks this one goes.... goodluck in the contest!
Karen
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
