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summer retreat

`


thunder storms over summer shore

skim stone ripples smooth

overlaps rain

drops kisses

the river's face

creases sand and leaves

footfalls fade into log cabin

door creaks open then shuts



`

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Comments

  • Lord Gegishov
    February 11, 2008

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    This is very good. The scarcity of language allows the image to form of its own, without the forceful clutter of words getting in the reader's mind's way. That is talent, dear Friend.


    • CrypticBard
      February 12, 2008
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      LG!

      Thanks for your kind words. Having brushed up on haiku and other Japanese literary forms I have endeavoured to very subtly incorporate some of its characteristics in English. Again, I thank you dear Friend.