Eve n' Earth

The shadows here, like flesh,

shy in their own nudity

and return to cloak themselves

in the undergrowth of Eden.

Serpentine conversations

with earthlings over dinner,

Candle lit- with the seven candles

holding stolen bits of the sun,

and fresh cut forbidden fruit salad,

garnished with curses.

An upset stomach bawls

like a new-born baby.

I run back to Adam

for Alka Setzer.

Author notes

The title is pronounced as EVEN EARTH. Not only did she eat the forbidden fruit in Eden, but also on Earth.

Teen Idol 7: Round 4 [Top 12] by Tangled Angle. 300 points, ended February 12, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

right now

Adding your comment:
Naridill
February 11, 2008

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I love the authors notes This piece shows a lot of well written imagery and intensity. I agree with Friday - the ending, I found a little light headed compared to the rest and expected a somewhat bang. But was still brilliantly scribed.
- Raazi
  February 11, 2008
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  lol well, because the theme is of eve being a goof, I decided to end it in a light hearted manner.
Friday
February 11, 2008

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I'm not sure about the last stanza. It just doesn't seem to hit as hard to me as the rest of the piece does. That said I entirely agree with Tyler; this was worth the wait.

Good luck.
Tangled Angle
February 11, 2008

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9.0
This is quite unique. This was definitely worth the wait. Not crazy about the word choice of 'tummy'...think you could have done better. Besides that, I like the idea, the imagery, metaphors, and allusions. Well done.

Score: 9.0