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We'll Walk Another Street

I stood there quietly grieving
My face was washed with tears
To farewell my only soulmate
Whom I have loved for years.

She shared with me the joys of life
She shared with me the pain
We, both of us had troubles
Again and then again.

The love we shared was stronger
Than any problems we have had
We came through with shining lights
When things were really bad.

Now you have been called away
Your work on earth is done
I go home to an empty house
I am the lonely one.

The time will come when I'll be called
The cycle will be complete
I'll look forward to your greeting
When we walk another street.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • condor gold member
    November 30, 2008

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    What a beautiful poem full of so much sentiment. I can very well relate to this feeling although it was not my soulmate. Your words really brought tears to my eyes but like you said, you will meet again on another street. Just one thing that tripped me up. Fifth verse/ second line. I kept stumbling on the 'and'. Perhaps this could be removed. It will read a little smoother. apart from that, it was perfect. Thank you for the write.


    • rbruce gold member
      November 30, 2008
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      I wrote this when a friend of mine lost his wife after a long illness. He said it helped him to come to terms with his loss. I agree with you about the 'and'. It's one too many and too soon after another one. I shall go back and edit it. Many thanks for your support and constructive comments.

  • Bob Fox
    September 14, 2008

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    Bob

    This is truly one brillant and beautifuk piece of poetry.Honestly I am jealous for I wish I could write something like this. Cheers my friend.


    • rbruce gold member
      September 14, 2008
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      Thank you Bob, I am truly flattered and honoured that you think this poem is that good.


  • Brit-Girl
    August 1, 2008

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    again, the rhyme seems contrived however I like the story of this one a bit more...
    thanks for the entry,

    • rbruce gold member
      August 1, 2008
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      I thank you for commenting on my entry into your contest. I think, perhaps, you do not like rhyme. I appreciate your comments anyway.

      Cheers

      Bob


  • Blood and Whiskey
    July 10, 2008

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    Very nicce

    I particularly liked the last stanza. Your rhymes are very natural and this poem seems very genuine.

    • rbruce gold member
      July 10, 2008
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      Thank you. This was written for a friend when his wife of many years passed away. It was just how I felt at the time.


  • Nicada silver member
    June 24, 2008

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    This write is just beautiful. So many seem to give up at any sign of trouble in a marriage and to me that is so sad. That part about sticking together through lifes' trials is powerful. This whole poem is woven with great sentiments and love. Nice Job! Blessings, Patty

    • rbruce gold member
      June 25, 2008
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      I hear so many religions preach that marriage is for life, for better or worse. I wonder just how many marriages actually work towards a whole life together regardless of circumstances that may arise later. The man for whom I wrote this spent his entire married life caring for his partner but in the end illness was stronger than both of them. They had a long long time together just the same. Thank you for your understanding of the sentiments in the poem. I appreciate your comments, they help keep me going.


  • FunnelWaxFate
    June 19, 2008

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    My, what a beautiful, sorrowful write this is! This poem evoked a very vivid image of my father, how he mourns for his soul mate…That first stanza was so impacting, it just instantly creeps in and encroaches upon any reader’s heart, even the most fettered of hearts. “The love we shared was stronger/Than any problems we have had/We came through with shining lights/When things were really bad.” Very beautiful lines, there, my favorite, in tune with the final stanza; although the poem in its entirety is most superb. Those particular lines, I feel, though do portray the true essence and majesty to the anatomy of a real, deep love- when life’s hardships don’t tear apart such a bond, but only make it stronger. What an eloquent, and poignant write…my heart wept as I read this. The flow is so fluid and serene is the tone, and lamenting…a very captivating bleeding of the soul…Very well done!

    • rbruce gold member
      June 20, 2008
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      A friend of mine lost his wife after a long illness and I wrote this for him. Its how I felt at the time. Thank you for such a wonderful review. I really appreciate your comments.


  • Tarja
    February 13, 2008

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    Thank you for the fresh entry. Well... I honestly think that the flow was a bit choppy... but overall this wasn't bad... You have a beatuiful and strong message and I truly enjoyed your entry. Thank you so much for sharing this and good luck.

    • rbruce gold member
      February 16, 2008
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      Thank you for an honest comment. I shall take in the 'bit choppy' bit about the flow and try to improve my stuff in future work. I appreciate honesty. Cheers, Bob.

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