Letting the gentle thoughts of suicide slide even with my soul

I feel just as lost as before I met you
All I can feel are your gentle deliberate kisses
And the cuts I leave on your broken lips
I don’t taste your blood
I taste my own
Twisted
Metal
I wonder at the art of fulfillment
And how I want to hit you sometimes
How I want to crush the delicate bones of your lame jaw to prevent all the empty things you say
I still imagine
I imagine that your tainted words are as beautiful as I need them to be
I want you to see me
I want to expose my breasts
I want you to see the raw of my body
And know it is not yours
Know that it is not all I have to give
Because deep inside
There is something so pure
I am scared for the world to see it
I play with the dark and dammed
Disguised
But you
I want you to see me
I want you to feel me
I want you to feel the future
And know that I believe in it
Not because I have to
But because I want to
I wonder where you are
When I lay broken in my bed at night
Letting the gentle thoughts of suicide slide even with my soul