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Until tomorrow finds me

She had tipped her hat against the white and melting sand
That had tumbled from their lovers' hands.
Now glassy-eyed and unrepentant, remembering his call;
“These few words which galvanize our loving souls in action, boys”,
Whispered low toward the tents, again.
She tilts her voice and narrowed pupils up, to catch the shadowed brim
Cast in darkness of him;
"Here my elbow rests until tomorrow finds me".

Still,
Behind the container, as arranged,
She waits for him.




A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Rheea gold member
    March 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well wow


  • Sagerider
    March 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is really great. Thanks for entering and Good Luck in the contest.


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    February 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is definately a sense of mystery behind this woman. Very intriguing piece of writing.. Great job.
    Soulful Woman


  • HeavenScent4U
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very impressive to get this from the image provided So much great imagery here. I especially loved these lines....

    "“These few words which galvanize our loving souls in action, boys”,
    Whispered low toward the tents, again.
    She tilts her voice and narrowed pupils up, to catch the shadowed brim
    Cast in darkness of him; "Here my elbow rests until tomorrow finds me".

    thanks for entering and best of luck. be well and be blessed


  • CountryCousin
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well.

    This piece leaves you wanting to know more about the woman that is talking. And perhaps it is Scarlet especially with that line until tomorrow finds me.


  • Jeremy DeForrest
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great!

    This is a very nice poem indeed. You've got such great vocabulary and the imagery in this poem is really amazing. You've got quite some talent in you and I hope you continue to write for a long, long time. Be blessed, my friend.

  • Zyskandar A Jaimot
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ah she waits for him how prophetic a closing line WELL DONE the quote:"“These few words which galvanize our loving souls in action, boys”," the last word befuddles me as to the intent/suggested meaning? could you please amplify?
    the title/first line setting/last line work very well ALSO minor issue how does one 'tilt her voice'? OVERALL very intriguing thanks for sharing regards zaj


  • Southern
    February 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Well written

    Nice interesting

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    February 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well done.


  • vici377
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    your imagery is astounding..
    “These few words which galvanize our loving souls in action, boys”, awesome line..thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest..

1 - 10 of 10