Hey valentine
I love it when your eyes shine
They shine so bright
I can see the light
It feels so right
I just can't help but smile
Everytime I see you
And when I do
I don't feel blue
As I see everyone
giving people a rose
It made me remember
That day I overdosed
Unfortunately
I can't do anything like that
Unless the girl is worth it
I believe you are
Because you shine
Just like the stars
Anyways
Will you be my valentine?
A contest entry
- I'm in the mood for anything, SO GO FOR IT! by Chocoholic156.
750 points, ended April 17, 2008, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Remind me there is love in the world by kay772.
400 points, ended November 21, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please tell what you think so far
Comments
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This is a really neat poem. I like the imagry pouring through it. My favorite part was "Because you shine
Just like the stars
Anyways
Will you be my valentine?"
The part I would say you could revise is the line "That day I overdosed" You could say something like "That day I overdosed on love" or something like that. I don't know, it is just a suggestion. Thanks for entering!
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Haha. Sweet. :] Happy V-day.
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